Aapkaa janeoo dikh rahaa hai

Film : Hera Pheri
Year of release : 1976
Spoken by : Ajay (Vinod Khanna)
Spoken to : Asha Khanna (SulakshaNa PanDit)

Ajay saves Asha from some goons who are trying to molest her. He manages to scare them off. However, the goons have torn Asha's clothes. And the audience can see the fat ugly bra strap that was common in the 1970s. But the line that Ajay delivers has to go down as a classic. He says

आपका जनेऊ दिख रहा है

Whenever I am faced with such a situation, I cannot but help remember this line. Whether I use it or not depends on how well I know the person in question. But the line crops up nonetheless and brings a smile to the face.

kitnee door hai babuji... hindustaan me to hai naa

Film: Laawaaris

Year of release : 1981

Spoken by : Heera (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Ranvir Singh (Amjad Khan)

This was Amitabh at his absolute peak. He just could do no wrong. But when you take the era out of the equation and see this film today, it is a film which deserves its rightful place in a trashcan. The film is about a bastard (laawaaris) who grows up to be Amitabh Bachchan. This one act turns the status of Laawaaris into 'hot'. Now everyone wants to disown their parents. Oh it is so fashionable to wallow in a sea of self pity. More about that wallowing later.

Both Mahender (Ranjeet) and Heera are Ranvir's sons. Mahender is the legal one and Heera is the illegal one. Neither Heera nor Ranvir are aware of this fact. Fate dishes up Heera to land up as an employee on Ranvir's estate. One day, when Dr Goyal (Om Prakash) finds that Ranvir has run out of his medicine, he asks Mahender to immediately get some stock. Mahender refuses to go on some flimsy pretext. Heera volunteers.

"Laaiye Doctor saahab; babuji is ghar me jab tak aapkaa ye naukar zindaa hai, aise kaamoN ke liye aapko koee takleef naheeN karnee paDegee, davaai maiN le aataa hooN"

"लाइये डॉक्टर साहब, बाबूजी इस घर में जब तक आपका ये नौकर ज़िन्दा है, ऐसे कामों के लिये आपको कोई तकलीफ़ नहीं करनी पडेगी, दवाई मैं ले आता हूं"

Ranvir says

'magar shahar bahut door hai"

Heera says

"kitnee door hai babuji... hindustaan me to hai naa"

"कितनी दूर है बाबूजी...हिन्दुस्तान में तो है ना?"

Often you find people finding excuses to turn a 'non-work' into a Herculean task. Here is a great line to trivialise a big job.

terii mayyat par zyaadaa bheeD naheeN lagegee

Film : Woodstock Villa

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Kaleem Bhai (Gulshan Grover)
Spoken to : Sameer (Sikandar Kher)

Kaleem Bhai has lent some money to Sameer. Since Sameer is behindhand on the payment, he comes and bashes him up regularly to serve as a payment due reminder. In one such instance, he says

"terii mayyat par zyaadaa bheeD naheeN lagegee...kyoNkii mardoN se too pehchaan banaataa naheeN hai aur auratoN ko shamshaan meN aane kee manaa hai"

"तेरी मय्यत पर ज़्यादा भीड़ नहीं लगेगी, क्योंकि मर्दों से तू पहचान बनाता नहीं है और औरतों को शमशान में आने की मना है"

It is quite surprising that inspite of the society having progressed so (women can go into space and onto moon); they still don't go to the graveyard.

Aadmii jo hai aur aadmii jo kartaa hai...aage chalkar donoN meN antar naheeN rehtaa

Film : Ardh Satya
Year of release : 1983
Spoken by : Jyotsana Gokhale (Smita Patil)
Spoken to : Anant Velankar (Om Puri)

This film was one of Govind Nihalani's rare films which was a commercial success too. It was a good film and a must watch for all fans of Hindi films. Jyotsana is a college lecturer who is in love with Anant Velankar (who is the 80s version of Inspector Vijay Khanna). She attends a conference on police brutality and excesses and comes back and asks Anant Velankar to leave his job. He protests at her attempt to paint all the policemen with the same brush. She says,

"Dekho aadmi jo hai, aur jo kartaa hai – aage chalkar donoN meN antar naheeN rahtaa. Odhii huyee manovratti bhee aadmi ko khaa letee hai"

"देखो आदमी जो है, और जो करता है - आगे चलकर दोनों में अंतर नहीं रहता. ओढी हुई मनोवृत्ति भी आदमी को खा लेती है"

She has been reading a lot of stuff related to police atrocities and is progressively getting repulsed by the police and policemen.

kaneez kee majbooree ko aarzoo naa samajhiye zill-e-ilaahii

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam
Year of release : 1960
Spoken by : Anarkali (Madhubala)
Spoken to : Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor)

Anarkali says this to Akbar when he accuses her of having been a gold digger.

"Kaneez kee majboori ko aarzoo naa samajhiye zille ilaahee"
"कनीज़ की मजबूरी को आरज़ू ना समझिये ज़िल्ल-ए-इलाही"

Sometimes, the desire is so inveterate, that it takes the form of a compulsion.

tujhe maa chaahiye yaa chane

Film : Mother India

Year of release : 1957

Spoken by : Radha (Nargis)

Spoken to : Little Birju (Master Sajid)

After a flood in the village, Radha and her kids don't have anything to eat. The village moneylender Sukhilala (Kanhaiyyalal) is trying to sleep with Radha and is using food for her kids as the bait. In this scene, the 'Mother India' factor surfaces. He goes to the hut where the mother and her kids are cooped up. He tries to bribe the kids with some channa (gram). Here is the exchange

Sukhilala: khaanaa pak gayaa beTaa... pak gayaa...raam raam raam are ye kaisaa julam kar rahee ho tum chhoTe chhoTe bachchoN par. kyaa karooN meraa man hee aisaa hai ki kisee kaa dukh naheeN dekhaa jaataa. le beTaa. khaa le.

खाना पक गया बेटा...पक गया...राम राम राम,.. अरे ये कैसा जुलम कर रही हो तुम छोटे छोटे बच्चों पर. क्या करूं मेरा मन ही ऐसा है कि किसी का दुख नहीं देखा जाता. ले बेटा. खा ले.

Radha : phenk de chane ramu. phenk de

फेंक दे चने रामू. फेंक दे

Sukhilala: are tu kaisee maa ho radha. khaa le (as he feeds the younger son birju). shaabaash. is haath meN bhee le (stuffs some more food into the other hand as he sees a hungry birju accepting food and eating it)

अरे तू कैसी मा हो राधा. खा ले. शाबाश. इस हाथ में भी ले.

Radha : birju phenk de chane. phenk de... birju, tujhe maa chaahiye yaa chane.

बिरजू फेंक दे चने...फेंक दे...बिरजू, तुझे माँ चाहिये या चने.

At this Birjoo throws away the food and spits out what he was eating on Sukhilala's face.

Sukhilala : aay haay maa bete sabab sayaane . sabere tak tabeeyat thikaane ho jaayegee

True to his words, just as he leaves Birju collapses due to hunger. Eventually this forces a distraught Radha to go back to Sukhilala. But we will come to that some other time.

I do think however, if you use this line with a modern day kid, he is going to go for the 'chane' and not the 'ma'.

Yeh to cheating hai

Film : Road
Year of release : 2002
Spoken by : Babu (Manoj Bajpai)
Spoken to : Arvind Chauhan (Viveik Oberoi)

The road thriller once again. Arvind and Lakshmi have given a lift in their SUV to Babu. Once he is inside the vehicle, he says he is hungry. Arvind says they have some biscuits in the car. Babu is offended and says that biscuits are for dogs. He manages to convince them to stop at a roadside eatery (Dhaabaa). Do read this post for an interesting line when Babu orders food at the Dhaabaa.

When the couple realises that they have probably made a mistake by giving a lift to Babu, Lakshmi convinces Arvind to make some excuse and refuse to carry him any further. Arvind goes to Babu and says

"हमें राजगढ़ नहीं बस्सी जाना है"

And asks him to make his own arrangement. Babu comes up with this classic

"ये तो चीटिंग है"

He says that now that he has had a full meal and even gulped down a large glass of lassi (buttermilk), he cannot walk. And now Arvind tells him that he cannot give him a lift as originally planned. This according to him is 'cheating'.