Shaadii karne se to khaanaa achchhaa hai

Film : Anand
Year of release : 1971
Spoken by : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Raghu Kaka

This is one of my personal favourites for entirely personal reasons. :)

Raghu Kaka (I dont know who is the character who plays this role, so if someone knows the answer please do tell me, because he did a damn good job and he deserves to be named and 'famed') is the man friday in Bhaskar's household. But many times he serves the dinner on the dining table, only to find that Bhaskar hasn't touched it. Bhaskar of course is busy reading some medical journal or some case papers. On one such occasion, Raghu Kaka's concern turns to frustration.

He tells Bhaskar to get married. He reasons that, then he could retire and go to his village and absolve himself of the crime of not feeding Bhaskar properly.

"तुझे अपने हाथों से पाला है ना, तुझे इस हाल में देख भी नहीं सकता और छोड़ भी नहीं सकता"

The angst in his voice hits home and a sardonic Bhaskar agrees to have dinner immediately, because

"shaadee karne se to khaanaa achchhaa hai"

"शादी करने से तो खाना अच्छा है"

Every time I see Anand, this line makes me smile. Next time you see this movie, pay attention to this line. I am sure it will make you smile.

Form bharnaa zarooree hai kyaa

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Murli prasad Sharma (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Dr J Dot Asthana (Baman Irani)


The occasion is the initial welcome lecture for all 1st year MBBS students. The dean, J dot Asthana finishes the speech, wishes everyone luck and asks the customary - "any questions" question. A hand goes up and says

"Yes sir. Yes. Wo baahar casualty me koii marne kee haalat me rahaa to usko form bharnaa zaroori hai kyaa"

"यॅस सर. यॅस. वो बाहर कॅशुयल्टी में कोई मरनी की हालत मे रहा तो उसको फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या"

A shocked dean is stunned to find the hand and the subsequent question belongs to none other than his bete noire Munna. He is too stunned to respond. He merely addresses the entire group and says,

"Tumhaaree classes kal subah aath baje shuru hogee. Thank you very much."

"तुम्हारी क्लासिज़ कल सुबह आठ बजे शुरु होंगी. थॅंक यू वॅरी मच"

The bureaucratic 'form' culture is so prevalent everywhere. If you want to use the documents available on a website, they will ask you to log in with a form. You want to add your name to the electoral roll, there is a form. Great. Now if the clerks mess it up and mangle your name, you need to fill another form to change the name on the card. It really becomes irritating at times. Even in private sector organisations (which are supposed to be dynamic), there are elaborate forms for getting two whiteboard markers from the stationery chest.

So next time you are part of some admin or ops shop, asks yourself this question before devising a form -

"ये फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या?"

Yeh kaneez Jalaaluddin Mohammad Akbar ko apnaa Khoon maaf kartee hai

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam
Year of release : 1960
Spoken by : Anarkali (Madhubala)
Spoken to : Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor)

ये कनीज़ जलालुद्दीन मुहम्मद अक्बर को अपना ख़ून माफ़ करती है

Mughal-e-Aazam is of course full of great lines. Most of them generally require a dictionary to unravel and decode. This is one of the simpler lines. But equally effective.

As the film is coming to an end, Akbar goes to meet Anarkali. He tells her that due to her, the son and father are at loggerheads. He makes it clear that he cannot allow her to live. Anaarkali resigns herself to her fate, but not without this parting shot. This line brings out the proud dignity in that character. Though I would shudder to think that a maid actually would have the courage to say this to an emperor. But then as they say, this is the stuff that legends are made on.

"ये कनीज़ जलालुद्दीन मोहम्मद अक्बर को अपना ख़ून माफ़ करती है"

Now where in the wide world can you use this line. Sure. One of my friends changes her job every six months. She is very good looking and somehow still manages to find a new job every six months. It could be because of her looks, could be because of her business contacts. But whenever she resigns she tells me

"MaiN Akbar ko apnaa khoon maaf kar aayee"

Though I think it is more appropriate to be used, if you are fired, not when you resign. But anyways, people use film lines the way they want to. It is not a violation of the Cinematography Act 1952. Whatever!

Bhagwaan kare golee chalaate waqt tere haath naa kaaNpe

Film : Deewar
Year of release : 1975
Spoken by : Sumitra Verma (Nirupa Roy)
Spoken to : Ravi Verma (Shashi Kapoor)

Making it a double bill for Deewar.

Indian films do have a fetish for the idealistic, fastidious mother character. The mother sticks to her ideals come what may. In this scene, Ravi is going after his brother Vijay. The mother realises that there might be a scenario where only one of them might come out alive. She does not do what Kunti did in Mahabharat. She does not go and beg the 'bad' son to spare the life of her 'good' son. Instead, she takes an unequivocal stand. She tells the 'good' son - go, go and do your duty. And I wish and hope that at the crunch moment your hand should not shake.

This is the pocket edition Nirupama Roy version of the Bhagavad Geeta.

Great line to use when someone in your team is going out for a sales call. Sales guys generally succeed by 'killing' the customer. And you would want to ensure

"भगवान करे गोली चलाते वक़्त तेरे हाथ ना कांपे"

Aaj Khush to bahut hoge tum

Film : Deewar

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Vijay Verma (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : God Shankar :)

आज ख़ुश तो बहुत होगे तुम. देखो जो आज तक तुम्हारे मन्दिर की सीढियां नहीं चढा, जिसने आज तक तुम्हारे सामने सर नहीं झुकाया...जिसने आज तक कभी तुम्हारे सामने हाथ नहीं जोड़े ...वो आज तुम्हारे सामने हाथ फैलाये खडा है

aaj ...khush to bahut hoge tum। Dekho... jo aaj tak tumhaare mandir kee seedhiyaaN naheeN chaDha ..jisne aaj tak tumhaare saamne sar naheeN jhukaayaa...jisne aaj tak kabhi tumhaare saamne haath nahee joDe ... woh... aaj tumhaare saamne haath phailaaye khaDaa hai।

bahut khush hoge tum...bahut khush hoge ki aaj maiN...yahaaN aayaa...lekin tum jaante ho ki jis waqt main yahaaN khaDaa hoon...woh aurat, jiske maathe se tumhaaree chaukhaT ka patthar ghis gayaa, wo aurat, jispar zulm baDhe, to uskee poojaa baDhee, wo aurat jo zindagi bhar jaltii rahee magar tumhaare mandir meN deep jalaatee rahee ...WOH AURAT...woh aurat aaj zindagi aur maut ki sarhad par khaDee hai.

बहुत ख़ुश होगे तुम...बहुत ख़ुश होगे कि आज मैं...यहां आया...लेकिन तुम जानते हो कि जिस वक़्त मैं यहां खड़ा हूं...वो औरत, जिसके माथे से तुम्हारी चौखट का पत्थर घिस गया, वो औरत, जिस पर ज़ुल्म बढ़े, तो उसकी पूजा बढ़ी, वो औरत जो ज़िन्दगी भर जलती रही मगर तुम्हारे मन्दिर में दीप जलाती रही...वो औरत...वो औरत आज ज़िन्दगी और मौत की सरहद पर खड़ी है.

kyaa qasoor hai uskaa, kaunsaa paap, kaunsa jurm kiyaa hai usne. kyaa uskaa jurm ye hai ki wo merii maa hai, kya uskaa jurm ye hai ki usne mujhe janam diyaa hai, kyaa uskaa jurm ye hai ki main usse pyaar kartaa hooN. ye...ye kis jurm kee sazaa dee jaa rahee hai use? merii maa, suhaagin hote huye vidhwaa banee rahee ...maine tumse kabhee kuchh naheeN maangaa

क्या क़सूर है उसका, कौनसा पाप, कौनसा जुर्म किया है उसने. क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि वो मेरी मां है, क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि उसने मुझे जनम दिया है, क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि मैं उससे प्यार करता हूं. ये ...ये किस जुर्म की सज़ा दी जा रही है उसे? मेरी मां सुहागन होते हुये विधवा बनी रही...मैने तुमसे कभी कुछ नहीं मांगा.

This is a classic dialogue from the all time classic called Deewar. Vijay is an atheist in the film and even as a kid when his mother and brother Ravi go to the temple, he is shown sitting and waiting at the entrance. In one of the powerful cinematic moments of the film, when he realises his mother is not well, he swallows his pride and keeps his principles aside and steps inside the sanctum sanctorum. He pleads with God to cure his mother. He argues that even though he might have committed illegal acts, his mother should not be punished for it. But the piece de resistance is the opening line he uses with God, almost equating him to a potent adversary. He says

aaj khush to bahut hoge tum

Implying that God had created circumstances which have weakened him so much, that he has decided to genuflect before his old adversary. So whenever you face a situation where you are forced to do something by someone you dont like, use this line. Instantly hits home.

Saaree Khudaaii ek taraf beevee kaa bhaai ek taraf

Film: Tumhare Bina
Year of release: 1982
Spoken by: Mr Khanna (Shail Chaturvedi)
Spoken to: Seema Dutt (Swaroop Sampat)

Mr Khanna is Seema's boss and the manager in the bank they both work in. He has been invited with family to Seema's house for lunch and when he is introducing his brother in law Divakar (Anoop Kumar), he uses this famous proverb.

One of my friends used a variant of this. His boss had asked him to give regular work to one of his brothers who used to be in a related trade. The brother was slow on the uptake, and my friend used to say

सारी ख़ुदाई एक तरफ़ बॉस का भाई एक तरफ़

Aye chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Munna (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Chinky (Gracy Singh)

Munna is in love with his childhood friend Chinky. He does not know how she looks like, but believes that she is still in love with him. The Chinky is actually none other than Dr Suman, one of the doctors in his hospital. Dr Suman panics when she finds out that Munna is interested in 'Chinky'. She decides to introduce her friend Neha Dubey as Chinky. Now Neha Dubey is a tube-tops-and-hot-pants girl who drinks, smokes and dances at night clubs. After meeting her, Munna is shocked. Shell-shocked. Even the normally unflappable Circuit is shocked. So how does Munna convey his dismay. He tells Neha

Chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

चिंकी तू बहुत चेंज हो गयेली है रे

Later when the real Chinky is discussing the meeting with Dr Asthana, they have a good laugh about it, by repeating this line again and again - almost like a shibboleth.

So if you meet an old friend and are dismayed about any sort of perceived negative change, this is a great line to use.