Car se aane waale aksar der se aate hain.

Salim-Javed again. I must curb this instinct, else people are going to think I am their PR agent. Not that they need any PR. This is from Deewar again. Ravi Vs Vijay. The famous “mere paas maa hai” scene. Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan) reaches a bit late and the moment he reaches, asks Ravi (Shashi Kapoor)

मुझे आने मे देर तो नही हुयी
Mujhe aane me der to nahee huyee

It was meant to be a rhetorical question, and any other brother posing as a police inspector would have let it pass. But not Ravi. Armed with the amazing missile called Salim-Javed he is highly unlikely to let it pass. So what does he do? He turns around and tells Vijay

कोई बात नही – कार से आने वाले अक्सर देर से आते हैं
Koee baat nahee – car se aane vaale aksar der se aate hain

I have often seen that the people who are the closest to a meeting venue, often reach last. The people who travel 45 km to reach the venue, often reach well in time. Similarly, the people who travel by public transport reach on time and those who travel in a chauffeur driven car reach late. So whenever you are in a situation where you find a better equipped (in terms of transport, distance etc) person reaching late, you could use this line.

Alternatively, if you have a car of your own, and reach late, use this line if someone points out that you are late

कार से आने वाले अक्सर देर से आते हैं

HaTaa saawan kee ghaTaa

The 1995 Rangeela is probably the only 'normal' love story made by Ramgopal Verma. This is now a classic line and often used (especially by those in Mumbai). I do not know whether it was first written by Neeraj Vora (the writer of the film) or it existed in the street language of Mumbai prior to that. I suspect it existed before. It found fame and glory thanks to Aamir Khan (who incidentally was the initial Munnabhai). This sequence comes in the beginning of the movie when the character of Munna as the street smart struggler with dignity is being etched. Milee (Urmilaa Matondkar) who is a dancer in Saroj Khan's troupe and Munna's childhood friend, is coming back from a cancelled shooting. Munna sees her and invites her for a cuppa. She tells him that her shooting was cancelled because of a flimsy reason. Munna tells her that she should give up her work as it would not take her anywhere. Milee retorts,

पूरा दिन इधर उधर मस्ती करते घूमता रहता है. किसी अच्छी कम्पनी मे छोटी मोटी नौकरी कर ले
pooraa din idhar udhar masti karte ghoomtaa rehtaa hai. Kissi achchhee company me choti moti

naukree kar le.

And our hero responds with the featured line

अरे हटा सावन की घटा. किसी सेठ की गाडी मे बिस्किट खाने वाला कुत्ता बनने से अच्छा है, कि अपुन सडक पे मस्ती करेगा. अपनी मर्जी का मालिक, अपना राजा. क्या बोलता है पक्या (सही है बाप) ए मिली कहा चली.

Are hata saawan kee ghataa. Kisee seth kee gaadee me biskit khaane vaalaa kuttaa banne se achchhaa hai, ki apun sadak pe masti karegaa. Apnee marjee kaa maalik, apnaa raja. Kyaa boltaa hai pakyaa. (Sahee hai baap). Aye milee kahaan chalee

This is followed by the song. Yaaron sun lo zaraa. Incidentally this was AR Rahman's first original Hindi score. Till that time, his Tamil scores were being translated into Hindi. That resulted in 'wonderful' songs like 'paTTee rap' in Humse hai muqaablaa.

So if you want to peremptorily and summarily dismiss a suggestion or an idea, use this line. It is very powerful

हटा सावन की घटा

This incidentally marks Aamir Khan's debut on this blog.

Savere aankh kuchh der se khuli

I sometimes fear that Salim-Javed might chance upon this blog and ask me for royalty. I might have to close down the blog then. But till then I shall plod on. This is from Kaala Patthar. Dhanraj Puri (Prem Chopra) is the owner of the coal mine. His engineer Ravi Malhotra (Shashi Kapoor) is getting too big for his boots. He feels that the ‘shakti kaa santulan’ or the balance of power is best served if Vijay Pal Singh (Amitabh Bachchan) is pitted against Ravi. Hence he calls Vijay over for a chat and begins sweet talking him. Amitabh responds in his characteristic laconic style with this dialogue

आज बहुत गडबड हो गई सेठ साहब. सवेरे आंख कुछ देर से खुली. देख नही सका कि सूरज किस तरफ़ से निकला था.

Of course in this Salim Javed script, unlike as in Deewar, the Vijay and the Ravi are not at loggerheads. Probably there not being siblings helps. So Vijay decides not to go along with the Machiavellian Puri.

However, whenever someone is being incredibly nice to you. Or you want to be sarcastically incredulous about something. This is a good line to use

सवेरे आंख कुछ देर से खुली
Of course the follow up question would be,

“What does that mean?”

So continue borrowing from Salim-Javed and say

देख नही सका कि सूरज किस तरफ़ से निकला था
Dekh nahee sakaa ki sooraj kis taraf se nikalaa thaa

Incidentally I have got some feedback from some readers who said that since they are unable to read and/or understand Hindi, they are unable to understand the full post. I am very tempted to add a translation of the line as well, but I am not really able to make up my mind. This blog is meant for those who understand and read both languages. The basic communication is in English, but the specific dialogue is given in Hindi (with Roman transliteration). Do write in and let me know what you think about this.

Yeh room to shuroo hote hee Khatam ho gayaa

Arshad Warsi had some memorable lines as Circuit in both the Munnabhais. This is one of them. Anyone who has ever stayed in Mumbai would immediately identify with this line. People in other metros also might identify with this line. Looking at the population explosion, even those staying in village might have need for using this line soon.

Circuit (Arshad Warsi) says this when Munnabhai (Sanjay Dutt) is going to move into his hostel room. Circuit – in a very Jeevesian character – goes armed with a fridge, TV and other accouterments to ensure that his master Munnabhai has a good stay. The moment he enters the room, he is very surprised that the room is so small. He tells Munna
“भाई ये रूम तो शुरू होते ही ख़तम हो गया यार”

Hum jahaan khaDe hote hain line vaheeN se shuru hotee hai

This is a very famous “Amitabh” line from the 1981 movie Kaalia. But interestingly this line was never mouthed by him. It was actually said by the character called Michael (Bob Christo). Amitabh merely repeats the line as

हम भी वो हैं जो कभी किसी के पीछे नही खड़े होते. जहा खड़े हो जाते है लाइन वहीं से शुरु हो जाती है.
So technically, the line will have to be attributed to Bob Christo. Bob Christo was the standard fixture in all films which required a white villain. So much so that he became a stereotype. He was well-built and bald, and that accentuated his threat. In India, a deep voice and a good body were considered virtues for a ‘villain’ – till the new generation heroes like Salman and Sunil changed all that. This is a typical prison scene (which you would see in almost every second film), which is played out in this case in Central Jail Nasik. A crippled prisoner (Ram Sethi who sings the song ‘Kaun kisii ko baandh sakaa hai’) is standing in the queue for food. Just as he is about to take his food, his plate is snatched by Michael (Bob Christo). The crippled prisoner protests that Michael should stand in line. And what does Michael say. You guessed it right-

Hum jahaaN khaDe hote haiN line waheeN se shuroo hotee hai

Immediately after that all the other prisoners in the queue go and stand behind Michael. Of course the scene further develops into a fight and our hero – the big B – also comes into it and repeats the same line in his inimitable style. A similar line is part of Tamil film legend too. Rajnikant says in his 1999 superhit Padaiyappa – என் வழீ தனீ வழீ (En vazhee tanee vazhee) – which means something like

हम भी दरया हैं हमें अपना हुनर मालूम है
जिस तरफ़ से जायेंगे रास्ता हो जायेगा

So, whether you are charting your own course or jumping the queue, you could use this line. The latter option is fraught with the danger of receiving a spontaneous public beating.

Sar chhat ko chhoone lagaa hai aur aql ghuTano ke oopar nahee gayee

Kader Khan was another great writer and actor. If you want to learn voice modulation, there are few better people to emulate. The late 80s and early 90s were totally dominated by Kader Khan. Every second film would have dialogues by him or he would be the villain or the comedian. A truly versatile artist. The line featured here is from the 1981 film Kaalia. Starring Amitabh Bachchan ‘in and as’ Kaalia. Early on in the film, the dreaded don Kaalia is actually a simpleton – Kallu. He plays marbles with the neighbouring kids though he is well over twenty (well..close to 40 actually). One of his neighbours called Raamdeen (Mushtaq Khan) is blessed with a baby boy. Kallu goes around the town tom-tomming the news. He goes and enthusiastically communicates it to Narayan, another neighbour who has never been blessed with kids. Narayan gets irked and slaps Kallu. He also complains to Kallu’s elder brother Shaam (Kader Khan). When Shaam reaches home, Kallu is complaining to his sister-in-law Shanti (Asha Parekh) about Narayan. Shaam loses his cool and scolds Kallu with this line

सर छत को छूने लगा है और अक्ल घुटनो के ऊपर नही गयी

All of us know someone or the other, who is the befitting recipient of such a jibe. Kids, husbands, siblings, bosses. Oh sorry. Don’t use it for bosses. For other categories user discretion is recommended.

Aap to uThaa lenge lekin aap ko kaun uThaayegaa

The 90s was a period that Johnny Lever dominated as a comedian. Especially the later part of the 90s. He was nominated 7 times during the 90s though he won it only twice. This post marks the debut of Johnny Lever on this blog.

In the 1998 film, Jab pyar kisi se hota hai, he plays the role of Mahesh. He, Suraj (Salman Khan) and Kabir (Aditya Narain) are standing on a railway platform. They have a lot of luggage with them and are looking around for a coolie. A very old man (looks older than Methuselah) approaches them and asks them

“मैं उठा लूं साहब”
Mahesh replies with a deadpan expression“आप तो उठा लेंगे लेकिन आप को कौन उठायेगा”
I still laugh when I think of this line and the way Johnny Lever delivered it. There are times when some people – old or otherwise – proffer that they would do things which are beyond their normally estimated abilities. In every such situation you could use this line.