Tab tak laRkaa taiyyaar chaahiye

This is another beautiful line from the 1975 movie Aandhi. Although I think Suchitra Sen was an example of extremely bad casting. All the dialogues were mauled, molested and trampled twice over by her. But probably that was an effect Gulzar desired. There must be some creative satisfaction in writing great lines and seeing them trampled to death. Anyways, this is a beautiful scene where Aarti (Suchitra Sen) sends a telegram to her husband JK (Sanjeev Kumar) to tell him that she is pregnant. JK works as an Assistant Manager in a hotel and both of them stay together in the same house. Yet she sends him a telegram. JK receives the telegram when he reaches the reception of the hotel and is about to relieve his colleague. When he reads it, he breaks into a broad smile. He tells his colleague the news. After the customary congratulations, the colleague asks JK if he wants to respond. JK asks his colleague to reply with a telegram congratulating her and adding that he would reach by nine thirty that evening and then he delivers this classic line
“मैं शाम को साढे नौ बजे तक पहुंच जाऊंगा. तब तक लड़का तैयार चाहिये”
When his colleague ribs him that this wasn’t possible, JK retorts with
“You don’t know my wife यार. वो महीनों का काम दिनों मे करती है. She will do it just like that!”

So whenever you want a complex and long gestation project to be done quickly, you could use this line. ‘तब तक लड़का तैयार चाहिये’
A person I used to work with – while working on a project with a stiff deadline – sent me an sms which said – “A boss is a person who thinks that nine women working together can deliver a child in one month”. This line reminded me of that statement.

Duniyaa meiN aisaa koee qanoon nahee hai ki puraanaa aadmii Gaddaaree nahee kar saktaa

This is another line from the 1984 movie Duniya. Jugal Kishore aka JK (Pran) is the chief villain in the film. He is told that one of his trucks containing contraband goods has been captured by the police. He suspects one of his men. His aide protests and says they are all old hands. Pran retorts with
दुनिया में ऐसा कोई क़ानून नहीं है कि पुराना आदमी ग़द्दारी नही कर सकता
We all find solace in dealing with people we know. Often we meet an old friend from college and start trusting him from the word go. It is possible that he might have changed from the way he was in college. But it seems impossible to us because we are very comfortable with that person. Higher desires and ambitions might have completely changed the person. But the ‘puraanaa aadmii’ syndrome is rampant even in corporate India. I know you for 6 years and I know another person for 8 years. I think I will deal with the other person, since I know him longer. If such a situation confronts you, remember this line by Pran

Bhaiyye geetaa haath me leke jang nahee laRee jaa saktee

Gulzar's 1975 opus Aandhi. Of course the movie was controversial at that time due to the backdrop of emergency. And hence it is a seminal work for movies on politics and politicians. Very well written characters of Aarti Devi (Suchitra Sen) and JK (Sanjeev Kumar). This particular line is mouthed by Lalloo Laal (Om Prakash). The local newspaper of the town publishes the headline "Aarti's nights for hotel manager". I do wonder why did Gulzar have a newspaper titled "Zamaanaa" publish itself in English in a small town and worse - why did it have English in such atrocious language. But then I have a lot of grouse with Gulzar for this movie, which I shall refrain from getting into. Aarti is separated from her husband JK and they accidentally meet at the hotel after 9 years. Aarti has gone there for campaigning. The opposition sees it as an opportunity for mudraking and hence get this published along with photos. When Lalloo Laal (who is Aarti's chief campaign organiser) reads this, he goes berserk. He says the campaign is over for Aarti. The public will no longer vote for her. When another associate points out that it is Aarti's personal life and why should people agonise over it, Lalloo comes up with this masterpiece

भैय्ये गीता हाथ मे लेके जंग नहीं लड़ी जा सकती. भगवान किशन नहीं लड़ सके तो ये क्या लड़ेंगी.

Life is a continuous battle. Too much accent on morals is often misplaced. And whenever you find someone placing too much accent on morals and ethics, you could use this line

भैय्ये गीता हाथ मे लेके जंग नहीं लड़ी जा सकती.

Bhaiyye geetaa haath me leke jang nahee laRee jaa saktee

Bazaar mein patthar uchhaal deejiye to zyaadaatar chance yeh hai, ki kisee ravi ke sir pe hee giregaa patthar

Time for some self-indulgence. Ravi is a very common Indian name. And this line does bring the extent of commonness of the name home. This is from one of Javed Akhtar's initial films after his breakup with Salim Khan. You do get some flavour of Salim Javed, but you also feel that the entire 70s was when that couple was on its 'उरूज' or zenith.

The movie being referred to here is the 1984 movie Duniya. Ravi Kumar (Rishi Kapoor was actually called that in this film he he he) goes into a swanky restaurant where Mohan Kumar (Dilip Kumar) has a luncheon date with his friend's daughter Roma (Amrita Singh). He has sights on Roma's purse which he knows contains Rs 10000 in cash. While Roma is waiting in the restaurant for Mohan, Ravi goes in and starts working his charm on her. When Mohan comes in, Roma introduces him to Ravi. Mohan meets him warmly and remarks that he too once knew a Ravi (a reference to the fact that his son was also called Ravi). Our hero Ravi remarks

"जी हां सर ये बात मैने भी नोट की है. कि दुनिया में रवि नाम के इंसान कुछ ज़्यादा ही हैं. अब तो हाल ये है कि अगर आप बाज़ार में पत्थर उछाल दीजिये, तो ज़्यादातर चांस ये है, कि किसी रवि के सर पर ही गिरेगा पत्थर"

"Jee haan sir yeh baat maine bhee note kee hai. Ki duniyaa mein ravi naam ke insaan kuchh zyaadaa hee hain. Ab to haal yeh hai ki agar aap bazaar mein patthar uchhaal deejiye, to zyaadatar chance yeh hai ki kisee ravi ke sir pe hee giregaa patthar"

So if you happen to be a Ravi and face a comment like 'oh I knew so and so; he was also called Ravi", use this. Alternatively you could use this to rib any of your friends or colleagues called Ravi. And if you don't know anyone called Ravi, you have a very sad life.

Race car naheeN...chalaane waalaa jeetataa hai

Have you seen two companies with similar pedigree and financial backing in a competing marketplace. One of them sometimes forges far ahead of the other. Leaves you wondering - what have they got that the one company got, that the other hasn't. More often than not, the difference is made by the man at the helm. The CEO or MD or President or Head - by whatever name the head honcho is called. So in a race if one driver is given a Ferrari and the other has a Ford, who would win. Did you say Ferrari? Think again. As Ranvir Singh a.k.a Ronnie (Saif Ali Khan) says,

रेस कार नहीं...चलाने वाला जीतता है

In the climax of the movie Race, the two brothers Ronnie and Rajiv (Akshaye Khanna) decide to race each other on the car racing turf to settle the owner of the 100 million dollar booty. When Rajiv (who has driven in a Ford like car) sees Ronnie driving a Ferrari like car, he protests and says that Ronnie has a faster car. Ronnie very stylishly hands the keys of his Ferrari like car to Rajiv and says

Race car naheeN...chalaane waalaa jeetataa hai

The consequent turn of events prove him right.

My pain is my destiny and I can't avoid it

One of Amitabh's specialities is his ability to speak both Hindi and English with EQUAL elan. I am stressing upon the word equal. वो जब बोलते हैं तो ऐसा नही लगता कि किसी भाषा पर एहसान कर रहे हों. And that in my opinion would be a perennial difference between Amitabh and all the other superstars who came before or after him. His ability to deliver fantastic Urdu/Hindi dialogues is well known, but you should watch out for the English nuggets that he throws in. He still pronounces the English words properly - as an English native speaker would. So here is a famous Amitabh line in English.

Dr Sudha (Raakhee Gulzar) is a doctor who is committed to serving in areas where medical services normally do not reach easily. Hence she is working in Dhanraj coal mines. Vijaypal Singh (Amitabh Bachchan) is a worker in the mine. One day he is injured in an accident and brought to Dr Sudha's dispensary. She looks at him and says that since a lot of coal dust seems to have entered his wounds, cleaning the wounds would be very painful and hence she would administer local anasthesia. Vijay says that she can go ahead and bandage the wound without the anasthesia. Now the brilliant interaction. Some people use English while speaking in Hindi to assert supremacy or to try and close the argument. It is as if, now I have said this in English and hence this is the last word. Dr Sudha (probably unknowingly) does that. She says

"Why don't you understand?"

Vijay lets go of his brooding demeanour to explode for a moment and says

"Why don't YOU understand Doctor. My pain is my destiny and I can't avoid it"

He says it in such chaste English (much better than Raakhee's heavily accented English anyways) that Raakhee knows that it brooks no further argument. She goes ahead and dresses the wound without anasthesia.

Now you must be wondering where the hell can we use this line. You certainly do not want to tell the doctor to dress wounds without anasthesia. It will pain like hell. Believe me. you don't want to do that. But I have used this line so many times. I normally do not pop a pain killer whenever I am in pain. I bear it patiently. I have had many solicitous colleagues ask me why don't I take a painkiller. Lo and behold. Pat comes my answer

"My pain is my destiny and I cannot avoid it"

And you thought this line could not be used in daily life.

YaheeN to maat khaa gayaa naa India

When I first saw this film on Doordarshan years back, I remember thinking to myself - Man! Smita Patil is for sure a good actress, but Rajesh Khanna is a very good actor himself! J Om Prakash (Hrithik's papa sasur) is famous for starting all his films with 'A' and for great music in his movies. It is rumoured that he earns over a couple of lacs every month just from the royalty of the music in his movies. This film too had good music, but it was a better film. This line is the 'takia kalaam' or pet phrase of Alok Nath (Rajesh Khanna) in this movie. Whenever he had to object to a particular statement or behaviour - he would interject and say

यहीं तो मात खा गया ना इंडिया

YaheeN to maat khaa gayaa naa India

I quite liked the way he said it. I have used it whenever a friend or a colleague has made emotional statements or cynical statements or despairing statement. In fact it can be used in any situation - India is quite a large and heterogeneous country. So if you want to disagree with a colleague or a friend or a relative who is an Indian, use this

यहीं तो मात खा गया ना इन्डिया

Incidentally this is the first Rajesh Khanna line featured on this blog. The original superstar thus makes his debut here.