KaanToN ko murjhaane kaa Khauf nahee hotaa

Mughal-e-Aazam once more. I think this film is amazing. No wonder it took 20 years in the making. This line comes after the famous qawwali - Teri mehfil mein qismat aazmaa ke hum bhee dekhenge. This is actually played out as a competition between Bahar (Nigar Sultana) and Anarkali (Madhubala). Finally when it is time to judge - Salim (Dilip Kumar) hands over the petals of the rose to Bahaar and the thorns to Anarkali. She comes up with this beautiful line

कांटों को मुर्झाने का ख़ौफ़ नहीं होता

kaanToN ko murjhaane kaa Khauf naheeN hotaa

So whenever you are in a situation of despair, you could have nothing more to lose. Something like that famous joke "shani teraa kyaa bigaaD legaa". Use this line.

JaaT maraa tab jaaniye jab terahvee ho jaaye

This is a quote from an unlikely source. Kamalahaasan keeps making movies in which he has strange get ups. Right from the dwarf in Appu Raja to the women in Chaachi 420 to the old man in Hindustani. And you have to hand it to him. He is the only major star in Indian cinema, who takes his make up seriously. He is currently working on a film called Dashaavataaram where he will play 10 roles. But in the year 2001 he came out with a movie called AaLavandaan (आळवन्दान ஆளவந்தான்) where he played a double role of an army officer and his deranged long lost twin brother (Abhay Kumar). It was also simultaneously released in Hindi as Abhay. The Abhay Kumar character had a bald pate, grotesque tattoos, dangerous dagger with serrated edges and a pronounced preference for the soliloquy. In one such soliloquy - he rants and narrates a long poem. But the last line of the poem is the line featured here

जाट मरा तब जानिये जब तेरहवी हो जाए

JaaT maraa tab jaaniye jab terahvee ho jaaye

Now this is not a blog on sociology and casteism - so the line has to be understood in that spirit. This is of course not a film dialogue in itself - it is a proverb. But it is a less known proverb and hence I am featuring it here. So whenever you are beaten in a game or at work, but believe you can bounce back. Or if you see someone who has that capability you can use this line. For the eternal never say die spirit - not even when you are dead. तेरहवी of course is a reference to the obsequies that are held on the 13th day after death in India. So technically you would have been dead for thirteen days on your terahvee or tervee as some people call it.

PaanDavoN waalee shart mat lagaaiye

In ChakDe India (2007), there is a scene when Kabir Khan (Shahrukh Khan) challenges the Hockey federation to a match between the men's and women's hockey team. The background is that the federation has just dropped the bombshell that due to funds shortage - only one team could go to the World Cup. And since the women's team were no hopers - they would obviously be left out. That's when a desperate coach Kabir throws this challenge. The hockey federation member Tripathi (Anjan Srivastav) sniggers and says

पाण्डवों वाली शर्त मत लगाइये - चीर हरण न हो जाये

Of course the reference is to Mahabharat and the game of dice which ended in the Pandavs losing everything - even their wife Draupadi who was molested in full public view. So Tripathi is referring to that instance. But the line is good. You can use it metaphorically whenever you think that the challenge or bet that is being accepted by a person, would lead to his ruin. You could say (with or without a snigger)

PaanDavoN waalee shart mat lagaaiye

पाण्डवों वाली शर्त मत लगाइये

Deen mein daaDhee hotee hai daaDhee mein deen nahee

Great line from Khuda Kay Liye (2008). Uttered by Maulaanaa Walee (Naseeruddin Shah), when he is testifying in a court case. Whenever a symbol grows in importance to such an extent that you end up missing the wood for the trees, you could use this line. I remember an example when my uncle did not count the number of Gaayatri chants that he did - while other members of my family used to keep one counter for tens, one for hundreds and one for thousand. I asked him why was he cheating and not counting. He said, it is important to remember god - not important to count. Many years later Naseer has caught the same thought with this line

दीन में दाढी होती है, दाढी में दीन नहीं

Shahenshaahon ke insaaf aur zulm mein kis qadar kam farq hotaa hai

I am falling in love with Mughal-e-Aazam (1960). This line is uttered by Sangtaraash (the sculptor played by Kumar) when Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor) offers to reward him with Anarkali. He has sent Salim away to Deccan to fight and in the meanwhile wants to ensure that the object of Salim's affection is safely put away. What better than to get her married to an aged sculptor. Sangtaraash refuses the offer (though not to Akbar's face). But not before he has delivered this line. If you come across a decision from someone in power, which is not entirely fair, use this line. Usage of the word 'shahenshaah' will surely placate him and he might reconsider his decision. It worked for me. Might work for you. Try it.

शहंशाहों के इंसाफ़ और ज़ुल्म में किस क़दर कम फ़र्क़ होता है

Varnaa kyaa

A great line from the 1978 superhit Pati Patni aur Woh. I think this was the only comedy in the career of Baldev Raj Chopra (Yashraj Chopra's elder brother). He was more famous for his social films and thrillers. A standard tale (though uncommon at that time) of a husband, wife and the 'other' woman (the mistress), it also featured that very famous comedy song - ThanDe ThanDe paani se nahaanaa chaahiye".

The film starts around the time when Ranjeet Chaddha (Sanjeev Kumar) gets married to Sharda (Vidya Sinha). Ranjeet's friends tell him that in matters of the wife, the husband should always bat on the front foot and dominate her from the word go. They use a very quaint phrase for it - they call it "billii maarnaa" बिल्ली मारना.

Ranjeet takes their advice and constantly threatens Sharda. He tells her to do something quickly and ends the order with a very stentorian sounding

"varnaa" वर्ना

Whenever Sharda hears the 'varnaa' she completes the order on the double. However, one day when Ranjeet tells her that he has an early morning tour the next day and he wants hot water ready by 5 am. As is his wont. he adds the customary 'varnaa' in a threatening tone. Sharda loses her patience and turns around and asks Ranjeet

वर्ना क्या...?

varnaa kyaa...?

And a sheepish Ranjeet says

"वर्ना मै ThanDe paanee se hee nahaa लूंगा"

" varnaa maiN ThanDe paanee se hee nahaa loongaa"

So if you are being constantly bullied by someone - your boss, your spouse, your sibling - whoever. And you want to call his/her bluff, go ahead and say

"वर्ना क्या..."

Pehla order cancel

Sholay is a true classic. There is a scene where Dharmendra is threatening to commit suicide. A character standing below asks another person standing nearby

"Yeh su-side kyaa hotaa hai" (As an aside, I wonder why the entire Hindi news channel industry insists on pronouncing this word as 'su-side'. Probably it is the effect of Sholay :))

Back at the ranch,

The person standing nearby responds

"Jab angrez marte hain to use su-side kehte hain"

And this character responds with a classic line

"Yeh angrez log marte kyoN hain"

I often see how Indians still suffer from an inferiority complex vis-a-vis the White Man. This line is symptomatic of that attitude. But I am digressing. The reason I wrote this was because when you watch this scene you want to know who those characters are - I mean their real names. Unfortunately I do not know and have been unable to find out hitherto. So if anyone reading this knows, please do write in. That is what a classic does. It makes you want to know such rare trivia too.

But the line featured here is not from that famous 'su-side' scene. That I will feature later. In fact the entire screenplay of Sholay will one day be found on this blog - drop by drop - bit by bit.

रेज़ा रेज़ा लख़्त लख़्त

This line is from the famous jail break scene, where Jai (Amitabh Bachchan) and Veeru (Dharmendra) take the jailor (Asrani) as hostage. Veeru sticks a wooden stick into the jailor's back and claims it to be a pistol. He tells the jailor that he should not move an inch. A terrified jailor stands rooted to the spot. Then Veeru says that he should escort both of them to the main gate of the jail. The fastidious and hairsplitting 'angrezoN ke zamaane kaa' jailor points out that he can't quite do that as they had ordered him to stay put. With extreme sang-froid (which is characteristic of him), Jaidev says

"Pehla order cancel...chalo"

"पहला ऑर्डर कॅंसल...चलो"

This is an excellent order to use whenever you do a flip flop. A volte face. So if you tell your wife or kids or colleagues or subordinates to do something and then later change it entirely...go ahead and say

"पहला ऑर्डर कॅंसल"

You could also use this at a restaurant though, but you are unlikely to be popular in that restaurant.