Deen mein daaDhee hotee hai daaDhee mein deen nahee

Great line from Khuda Kay Liye (2008). Uttered by Maulaanaa Walee (Naseeruddin Shah), when he is testifying in a court case. Whenever a symbol grows in importance to such an extent that you end up missing the wood for the trees, you could use this line. I remember an example when my uncle did not count the number of Gaayatri chants that he did - while other members of my family used to keep one counter for tens, one for hundreds and one for thousand. I asked him why was he cheating and not counting. He said, it is important to remember god - not important to count. Many years later Naseer has caught the same thought with this line

दीन में दाढी होती है, दाढी में दीन नहीं

Shahenshaahon ke insaaf aur zulm mein kis qadar kam farq hotaa hai

I am falling in love with Mughal-e-Aazam (1960). This line is uttered by Sangtaraash (the sculptor played by Kumar) when Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor) offers to reward him with Anarkali. He has sent Salim away to Deccan to fight and in the meanwhile wants to ensure that the object of Salim's affection is safely put away. What better than to get her married to an aged sculptor. Sangtaraash refuses the offer (though not to Akbar's face). But not before he has delivered this line. If you come across a decision from someone in power, which is not entirely fair, use this line. Usage of the word 'shahenshaah' will surely placate him and he might reconsider his decision. It worked for me. Might work for you. Try it.

शहंशाहों के इंसाफ़ और ज़ुल्म में किस क़दर कम फ़र्क़ होता है

Varnaa kyaa

A great line from the 1978 superhit Pati Patni aur Woh. I think this was the only comedy in the career of Baldev Raj Chopra (Yashraj Chopra's elder brother). He was more famous for his social films and thrillers. A standard tale (though uncommon at that time) of a husband, wife and the 'other' woman (the mistress), it also featured that very famous comedy song - ThanDe ThanDe paani se nahaanaa chaahiye".

The film starts around the time when Ranjeet Chaddha (Sanjeev Kumar) gets married to Sharda (Vidya Sinha). Ranjeet's friends tell him that in matters of the wife, the husband should always bat on the front foot and dominate her from the word go. They use a very quaint phrase for it - they call it "billii maarnaa" बिल्ली मारना.

Ranjeet takes their advice and constantly threatens Sharda. He tells her to do something quickly and ends the order with a very stentorian sounding

"varnaa" वर्ना

Whenever Sharda hears the 'varnaa' she completes the order on the double. However, one day when Ranjeet tells her that he has an early morning tour the next day and he wants hot water ready by 5 am. As is his wont. he adds the customary 'varnaa' in a threatening tone. Sharda loses her patience and turns around and asks Ranjeet

वर्ना क्या...?

varnaa kyaa...?

And a sheepish Ranjeet says

"वर्ना मै ThanDe paanee se hee nahaa लूंगा"

" varnaa maiN ThanDe paanee se hee nahaa loongaa"

So if you are being constantly bullied by someone - your boss, your spouse, your sibling - whoever. And you want to call his/her bluff, go ahead and say

"वर्ना क्या..."

Pehla order cancel

Sholay is a true classic. There is a scene where Dharmendra is threatening to commit suicide. A character standing below asks another person standing nearby

"Yeh su-side kyaa hotaa hai" (As an aside, I wonder why the entire Hindi news channel industry insists on pronouncing this word as 'su-side'. Probably it is the effect of Sholay :))

Back at the ranch,

The person standing nearby responds

"Jab angrez marte hain to use su-side kehte hain"

And this character responds with a classic line

"Yeh angrez log marte kyoN hain"

I often see how Indians still suffer from an inferiority complex vis-a-vis the White Man. This line is symptomatic of that attitude. But I am digressing. The reason I wrote this was because when you watch this scene you want to know who those characters are - I mean their real names. Unfortunately I do not know and have been unable to find out hitherto. So if anyone reading this knows, please do write in. That is what a classic does. It makes you want to know such rare trivia too.

But the line featured here is not from that famous 'su-side' scene. That I will feature later. In fact the entire screenplay of Sholay will one day be found on this blog - drop by drop - bit by bit.

रेज़ा रेज़ा लख़्त लख़्त

This line is from the famous jail break scene, where Jai (Amitabh Bachchan) and Veeru (Dharmendra) take the jailor (Asrani) as hostage. Veeru sticks a wooden stick into the jailor's back and claims it to be a pistol. He tells the jailor that he should not move an inch. A terrified jailor stands rooted to the spot. Then Veeru says that he should escort both of them to the main gate of the jail. The fastidious and hairsplitting 'angrezoN ke zamaane kaa' jailor points out that he can't quite do that as they had ordered him to stay put. With extreme sang-froid (which is characteristic of him), Jaidev says

"Pehla order cancel...chalo"

"पहला ऑर्डर कॅंसल...चलो"

This is an excellent order to use whenever you do a flip flop. A volte face. So if you tell your wife or kids or colleagues or subordinates to do something and then later change it entirely...go ahead and say

"पहला ऑर्डर कॅंसल"

You could also use this at a restaurant though, but you are unlikely to be popular in that restaurant.

Overconfidence nahee honaa chaahiye

This is one film which really left a deep impression on me during my adolescent years. I almost bunked school to see this movie. I cannot explain to you how big an event that is. Ok, the movie I am referring to is Ramgopal Varma's first Hindi film as a director - Shiva. It also introduced Nagarjuna to the Hindi industry. Amla (who later became Nagarjuna's wife), the female lead in Shiva, was an established actress by that time. But the trigger for this post came when I recently heard of the death of Raghuvaran, who made a debut in this film as the villain - Bhavani. His tall gawkish mannerisms, Tamil accented Hindi and high nervous energy almost reminded me of Norman Bates of Bates' Motel fame, but for the fact that Raghuvaran has a much better voice. I found myself mimicking his style and repeating most of Bhavani's dialogues for quite some time. I also distinctly remember my father not liking it too much. But those were the days of writing competitive exams and failing some and passing some. This line came in handy. The background is that Bhavani (Raghuvaran) is a goonda who works at the behest of local politician Tilakdhari (Paresh Rawal as a villain before his comedy stint began). A rival politician Kanta Prasad (Goga Kapoor) meets Bhavani at a place close to a river to negotiate. Kanta Prasad threatens Bhavani that he would expose his boss. When Bhavani responds with a threat that he would murder him, Kanta Prasad dares him to kill him. He says that if he is killed the entire party cadres would rise in revolt and that would be even more damaging for Tilakdhari. Bhavani moves forward to ostensibly hug Kanta Prasad but stabs him in the stomach and kills him. Then for the benefit of the hoi polloi he says that people would realise he is dead only if the body is found. Then he turns to the camera and says

"Over confidence nahee honaa chaahiye"

It is pretty much a simple line and can be used whenever you have scored a Roland to someone's Oliver. After doing so, you could tell them

"Overconfidence nahee honaa chaahiye"

Statutory warning: Please don't attempt the murder along with this line. It could be very very injurious to your health.

Ab janaaze ko rukhsat kee ijaazat diijiye

The 1960 magnum opus Mughal-e-azam once more. Often when you work with voice over artistes or drama artistes and you belabor a point about language or pronunciation too much, a standard response is

"abe mughal-e-azam thoDii banaa rahe hain"

That movie has really set standards in terms of dialogues and attention to detail. Anyways, coming back to the line featured here. Anarkali (Madhubala) takes leave of Salim (Dilip Kumar) towards the end of the movie where she knows that she is destined to be executed and separated from the Prince. She says this line

It means that "kindly permit this coffin/dead body to leave". But figuratively you can use it whenever you are leaving the company of someone who has battered you so much (mentally of course; if you are battered physically you would not be thinking dialogues) that you feel like a living corpse. That is when you can use this line

"Ab janaaze ko ruKhsat kee ijaazat diijiye"

Make up lagaate hi rate double kar diyaa

Hrishida once again. This line is from his 1983 laugh riot Rang Birangi. It is one of his lesser talked about movies. But believe me, it is as good if not better than his other comedy capers like Golmaal and Chupke chupke. It has the irrepressible duo of Utpal Dutt and Amol Palekar teaming up again. The highlight of the film is the line that comes towards the end. I am not going to explain the line. You have got to watch it. But the line is

"अमिताभ बच्चन पागल हो गया है? ये तो होना ही था!"

You have got to see this scene again. In case you have not seen the film - do see the film. But the line featured here comes when Deven Verma who is the scriptwriter of the drama that is being played out in the movie - hires an actor to play the role of a business man (a seth). The plan is that while this hired actor tries to work out the nitty gritties of a deal at a restaurant with Ajay Sharma (Amol Palekar), Nirmala (Parveen Babi; Ajay's wife in the movie) is enacting a scene where she is laughing her heart out with 'another man' Jeet Saxena (Faarooque Sheikh). But when the hired actor arrives at the hotel he demands Rs 200 instead of the Rs 100 that he had earlier agreed to. This prompts Deven to say

"मेक अप लगाते ही रेट डबल कर दिया?"

"Make up lagaate hee rate double kar diyaa?"

You can use this line whenever someone asks for more money than agreed initially. So if you hire a painter to paint your house. After you have arranged (or rather ransacked) your house on the D-day, this guy arrives and says

"saahab do sau rupaye zyaadaa lagenge"

You could retort with

"मेक अप लगाते ही रेट डबल कर दिया?"