Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai

Film : Baap Numberi Beta Dus Numberi
Year of release : 1990
Spoken by : Raman (Kader Khan)
Spoken to : Prasad (his son played by Shakti Kapoor)

This line is often used by me while referring to the financial markets and its constituents. I will come to that in a moment. Now both father and son are in a constant game of oneupmanship in this movie. Prasad goes and fraudulently collects gold from Raman's locker. In the meantime, Raman cleans out the balance in Prasad's account fraudulently. He calls up Prasad to tell him this and also tells him that the gold that Prasad has taken is fake. So the father is reiterating to the son that even if the son grows up he will not really match up to the father. He puts it beautifully

"Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai"
"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Now let me tell you my financial markets analogy. There are two common financial assets that people invest in - debt and equity. Now if you invest in debt, the growth is more steady, whereas in equity the journey is more volatile. But even if equity tanks very badly, over a 10 year term it would still end up giving more returns than debt. This has been my experience in the Indian markets over the last 20 years. Hence, if someone asks me the question equity or debt, I say this

"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay 'Khan' (Amitabh Bachchan)

Teja asks his men to find out someone who has had a skirmish with Vijay in the past and pay him money to bump Vijay off. His men go and visit Sher Khan as he has had a very public fight with Vijay. What they do not know is that both Vijay and Sher Khan have now kissed and made up. Sher Khan refuses the offer given by Teja's men. He then goes to warn Vijay about the offer he has received. Vijay laughs it off. Sher Khan says, that though Vijay might be a brave man, but a pack of wild dogs can finish off a lion. Must have been a very powerful dialogue in the pre-Discovery and Animal Planet days. Now even little kids know this and hence the dialogue sort of loses its potence. But here goes nonetheless,

"Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN"

"बारह जंगली कुत्ते मिलकर शेर को मार डालते हैं"

kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap

Film : Pakeezah

Year of release : 1972

Spoken by : Saahib Jaan (Meena Kumari)

Spoken to : Salim (Raaj Kumar)

Saahib Jan is a nautch girl. Forest Officer Salim falls in love with her after he meets her in that famous romantic train sequence. He is taking her back to the city with the intention of marrying her. One of her patrons, Hashim Khan, recognises her and starts following her. Salim asks Sahib Jan who he is. She responds with the classic

"kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap?"

"किस किस का नाम पूछेंगे आप?"

poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai

Film : Satya

Year of release : 1998

Spoken by : Satya (Chakravarthi)

Spoken to : Bhau Thakurdas Jhawle (Govind Namdeo)

Bhiku Mhatre (Manoj Bajpai) decides to kill Gurunarayan (Raju Mavani) upon the advice of Satya. Bhiku's mentor Bhau loses his cool when he comes to know of it and pounces on Bhiku saying he should have asked him first

"poochhne kaa naa mere ko" he says in a condescending manner.

Bhiku is at a loss to respond. Satya comes to his aid with

"poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai"

"पूछने के लिये ज़िन्दा रहना ज़रूरी होता है"

So if your boss questions any decision of yours which has been taken in a crisis and says you should have checked with him/her first, you can use this line.

Mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Prince Salim (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Anarkali (Madhubala)

You would have guessed from the line which film this line belonged to. Anarkali and Salim are in an amorous mood (or as our journalists call it - 'compromising position'), when Akbar the Great walks in. Anarkali is scared and makes a gesture to run away. Salim stops her and asks her not to be afraid. Because he believes, fearful love is manifestation of dishonourable intent. As he puts it

"mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN, ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai"

"मोहब्बत जो डरती है वो मोहब्बत नहीं, अय्याशी है, गुनाह है"

Though that means that all that I have done in my life is 'gunaah'. PDA or public display of affection is such an unacceptable thing in India, that you have to be fearful.

"तो क्या मैं गुनाहगार हूं?"

Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete

Film : Dus Numbri

Year of release : 1976

Spoken by : Inspector Jaichand (Premnath)

Spoken to : Arjun aka Dus Numbri (Manoj Kumar)

Manoj Kumar has sued Farah and Shahrukh for misrepresenting him in OSO. If you want to see how sickening and stupid he looked, see this film. Crap film with some very good songs. But when a film is so bad you want to stick till the end a la Return of the Jewel Thief. And I think he should have paid Farah money for the service that she has done to him. Par woh kahaanii phir kabhee.

Arjun is a 'bad character' and Inspector Jaichand is a crooked police officer. In one exchange between the two, Arjun asks Jaichand for a 50% cut in the fake currency racket. Jaichand is angry that a petty crook considers himself worthy of equal profits. He says,

"Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete"

"शेर और बकरी दोनों एक ही घाट से पानी नहीं पीते"

Premnath makes his debut on this blog.