Ilaaqaa tumhaaraa hai aur maiN akelaa hooN

Film: Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

If you have been following this blog, then you would have read other interesting posts from this film. If you haven't, I suggest you go to the labels section and click on Zanjeer and read all the posts before reading this.

Vijay goes to Sher Khan's area in response to the challenge that he had thrown to him at the police station. Sher Khan had said that Vijay's arrogance was due to his uniform and his position. Vijay is obviously eager to dispel this notion. So he reaches in mufti at Sher Khan's joint and says,

"yehee hai vo ilaaqaa, jahaan log tumheN jaante hain? Sher Khan ab na to vardi hai na kursi aur naa hee mai duty par hooN"

And polishes off his dramatic entry with a counter challenge (in what would later become the characteristic angry young man style) -

"ilaaqaa tumhaara hai aur maiN akelaa hooN"

"इलाक़ा तुम्हारा है और मैं अकेला हूं"

jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

Teja is the crime don of the city. The new inspector in town is getting troublesome. Teja invites him to his party. A lavish party with booze and fine food flowing all around. He hope to schmooze Vijay (Amitabh) into accepting his ways at this party. There is the typical cabaret no performed

"diljaloN kaa dil jalaa ke, kyaa milegaa dilrubaa"

After the song, Teja is talking with Mona. Teja says,

"acchhe khareedaar hamesha sauda karne se pehle, doosre kee qeemat kaa andaazaa lagaate haiN"

"अच्छे ख़रीदार हमेशा सौदा करने से पहले, दूसरे की क़ीमत का अन्दाज़ा लगाते हैं"

Mona asks him

"to kyaa andaazaa lagaayaa tumne"

Teja says,

"jahaaN tak meree zindagii kaa tajurbaa hai, jo log partyon meN alag thalag rehte haiN, woh aamtaur par bahut ziddii hote haiN"

"जहां तक मेरी ज़िन्दगी का तजरुबा है, जो लोग पार्टियों में अलग थलग रहते हैं, वो आमतौर पर बहुत ज़िद्दी होटल हैं"

I could not agree more with this. I myself am very stubborn and rarely mingle well at parties.

yeh subah itnii jaldii kyo.N aa jaatee hai

Film : Sharaabi

Year of release : 1984

Spoken by : Vicky Kapoor (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Munshi ji (Om Prakash)

Vicky Kapoor is a motherless boy, who has been brought up by Munshi ji, while Vicky's father Rai Sahab Amarnath Kapoor has been busy in 'business' meetings. As an aid to keeping him quiet as a baby, Rai Sahab has advocated the use of a 'capful' of brandy. The 'capful' turns into a 'glassful' and eventually a 'bottleful'. And Vicky grows up as a young man to be an alcoholic or 'Sharabi'. He keeps irregular hours - wakes up late and sleeps late. One such morning, after a long drunken night, when he is being woken up by Munshi ji (the trusted retainer), he complains and says

"munshi ji, yeh subah itnii jaldii kyo.N aa jaatee hai?"

"मुंशी जी, ये सुबह इतनी जल्दी क्यों आ जाती है?"

kuchh logoN ke iraade mazboot hote haiN...kuchh logoN ke iraade tum jaise log mazboot banaa dete haiN

Film: Kabzaa

Year of release: 1988

Spoken by: Ustaad Ali Mohammad (Aalok Nath)

Spoken to: Veljibhai Soda (Paresh Rawal)

Ali Mohammad has been arrested by the Inspector (Avtar Gill) on a trumped up charge of possessing drugs. While he is waiting in the police station, Velji comes in to threaten him. As Velji is about to leave, Ali asks him to wait and says:

"kuchh logoN ke iraade mazboot hote haiN...kuchh logoN ke iraade tum jaise log mazboot banaa dete haiN"

kabhii aane ko kehtii hai, kabhii jaane ko kehtii hai

Film: Sharaabi

Year of release : 1984

Spoken by : Vicky (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Munshi (Om Prakash)

I saw this film when I was moving into adoloscence. It was a big hit with me. I used to wake up at 3 in the morning and sing the songs of the film. I was quite besotted with everything about the film. Now when I look back, I wonder how I did not turn into an alcoholic given my level of enchantment with this film. But even now when I see this film, I see many lines which I have used time and again in my life - sometimes in jest, sometimes in seriousness.

Here is one of them.

Natwar Shah (Ranjeet) is dancer Meena's (Jaya Prada looking at her beautiful best) agent. He tries to hitch her up with wealthy patrons and get rich in the process. Vicky is one such target. Natwar goes to Vicky to sell him tickets of one of her dance shows. When Vicky sees Meena's photo - he is besotted with her. He buys all the tickets of the show. When Meena is about to start her performance, she sees only two people in the hall - Vicky and Munshiji. She is upset and conveys her feelings to Vicky. She feels that he has insulted an artiste by acting in this manner. Vicky apologises but also drops in some heavy dialogues about his being a patron who could genuinely appreciate her art and also applaud her more than a 1000 members in the audience could. As he is about to leave, Meena asks him to wait. A flustered Vicky says, in his characteristic style;

"bhai kamaal hai munshii jii, kabhii aane ko kehtee hai kabhee jaane ko kehtee hai"

"भइ कमाल है मुंशी जी, कभी आने को कहती है, कभी जाने को कहती है"

A line which can be used very effectively with your lover :)

jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa chaahiye

Film: Man ka Meet

Year of release : 1968

Spoken by : Lala ji (Om Prakash)

Spoken to : Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar)

The claim to fame of this film is that this was the debut film of two people - one was Som Datt (Sunil Dutt's brother as hero, who was never heard of again) and Vinod Khanna (as villain and who later became a hero and then a sanyasi and then an MP). Vinod Khanna really started looking his macho self from movies like Achanak. So he reminds you of Dharmendra in Dil Bhi Tera Hum Bhi Tere. In fact there is a dialogue in the film where the heroine Aarti (Leena Chandavarkar) tells him that he should not try to be a hero because he has a face more suited to being a villain.

Coming back to the dialogue, the 60s and 70s had a lot of these sexist dialogues, which seemed quite acceptable in that era. Today, I feel most people would take umbrage at such lines. But I am a sucker for metaphors and analogies and proverbs and what have you. This seemed to fit at least one of the above bills and hence I am featuring this line here.

Lala ji (Om Prakash), is a rich man and is the guardian of Aarti. He is worried about her marriage, whereas Aarti mouths the typical dialogue of that era - 'mujhe shaadi naheeN karnee' or ' abhii itnee jaldee kyaa hai'. And when Lala Ji tries to get her to consider marriage, he says

"jawaan laDkee bhee jaaydaad kee tarah hotee hai beTii...donoN kaa ek ek rakhwaalaa honaa zaroori hai"

"जवान लड़की भी जायदाद की तरह होती है बेटी...दोनों का एक एक रखवाला होना ज़रूरी है"

Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho

Film : Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Inspector Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Sher Khan (Pran)

Read the earlier post before reading this.

Sher Khan casually moves towards the chair kept in front of Vijay with an intention of sitting in . Before Sher Khan can actually sit, something happens. The slow and deliberate movements of Sher Khan and the sitting form of Vijay do not allow you to be prepared for what follows. They are in stark contrast to the sudden explosion of energy. You can actually feel the 'angry young man' in what follows. Vijay jumps out of his chair and kicks away the chair with great alacrity. A stunned Sher Khan stands wondering what will follow next. What follows next is this great line penned by Salim-Javed.

"Jab tak baiThne ko naa kahaa jaaye sharaafat se khaDe raho"

"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Even in normally civilised settings - in offices and at homes - you have unwanted visitors who drop in unexpectedly and try to get overly friendly. Your entire body and soul wishes them to go away. You would love it if you could kick the chair away (before they plonk themselves in it) and say

"जब तक बैठने को ना कहा जाये शराफ़त से खडे रहो"

Of course, it will never happen in reality. But you can watch this scene and replay it in your mind. It will surely make you smile.

is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay Khanna (Amitabh Bachchan)

This is the scene where Sher Khan and Vijay Khanna share screen space for the first time. Inspector Vijay has sent for Sher Khan. Sher Khan comes to the police station. This is their interaction -

"assalaam aalaikum Inspector. Hamaaraa Khushqismatii, tumhaare jaise baDe officer ne humko yaad kiyaa. Hamaare laayaq koee khidmat?"

"अस्सलाम आलेक़ुम इंस्पॅक्टर. हमारा ख़ुशक़िस्मती, तुम्हारे जैसे बडे ऑफ़िसर ने हमको याद किया. हमारे लायक़ कोई ख़िदमत? "

"tumhaaraa naam ...sher khan hai?"

"तुम्हारा नाम ... शेर ख़ान है?"

"is ilaaqe meN naye aaye ho saahab? varnaa sher khan ko kaun naheeN jaantaa. Khair...ab mulaaqaat ho gayee hai."

"इस इलाक़े में नये आये हो साहब? वर्ना शेर ख़ान को कौन नहीं जानता. ख़ैर...अब मुलाक़ात हो गयी है."

And then something else happens. That will follow in the next post.

bardaasht kii koii had naheeN hotee

Film: Besharam

Year of release: 1978

Spoken by: Ramchandraji (A K Hangal)

Spoken to: Ram (Amitabh Bachchan)

A K Hangal should have debuted on this blog with that classic from Sholay "itnaa sannaaTaa kyoN haiN bhai". But as luck would have it, it is this line that marks his debut here.

Besharam is directed by Deven Verma and is one of Amitabh's weak films. This is the only film in which Amitabh plays the role of an LIC agent (probably explains the title :))

Pande (Jagdish Raj) is insulting his father Ramchandraji in Ram's presence. Tony (Imtiaz Khan) taunts Ram about his predicament. Ram goes and grabs Tony's collar. His father stops him. Ram angrily says

"Bardaasht kii bhii koii had hotee hai"

"बर्दाश्त की भी कोई हद होती है"

Ramchandraji very calmly responds:

"bardaasht kii koee had naheeN hotee...kuttaa agar aadmii ko kaaT le to aadmii kutte ko naheeN kaaTtaa"

"बर्दाश्त की कोई हद नहीं होती...कुत्ता अगर आदमी को काट ले तो आदमी कुत्ते को नहीं काटता"

duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa

Film: Kabzaa

Year of release: 1988

Spoken by: Ustaad Ali Mohammad (Aalok Nath)

Spoken to: D'Souza (Deepak Quazir)

This is a film written by Salim Khan (Salman Khan's father) and directed by Mahesh Bhatt.

"Duniyaa meN sirf do hee sach haiN...ek haaN aur ek naa...baaqii sab hera pheri hai"

"दुनिया में सिर्फ़ दो ही सच हैं...एक हाँ और एक ना...बाक़ी सब हेरा फेरी है"

He says this when D'Souza tries to wiggle out of his promise of building a children's park after being threatened by Ranjit Verma (Raj Babbar).

Apun yeDaa akkhee duniyaa shaaNii, haiN?

Film : Rangeela
Year of release : 1996
Spoken by : Munna (Aamir Khan)
Spoken to : Mili (Urmila Matondkar)

Many of the street smart Bambaiyya lines have been featured from this film earlier on this blog.

Both Milee and Munna are fighting after the ruckus at the theatre as that incident results in them not being able to see the movie Mr. Bond starring Milee’s favourite star Kamal.

Munna insists that it is not his fault. He says

"Arre kamaal hai, tere ko to har baat pe apnaa hee fault dikhtaa hai. Apun yeda akkhee duniyaa shaanee hain? "
"अरे कमाल है, तेरे को तो हर बात पर अपना ही फ़ॉल्ट दिखता है. अपुन येड़ा अक्खी दुनिया शानी, हैं?

baap kii kamaaii naheeN paap kee kamaaii hai

Film : Phool aur Patthar
Year of release : 1966
Spoken by : Sarju (OP Ralhan)
Spoken to : Fatso (his gangmember)

Sarju is distributing the loot equally among his gang members after a 'jhamoora' performance. So each gang member gets 1 re 81 paise (har di har har). A 'jhamoora' performance is one, where there is a ringmaster kind of character - the ustaad, who prompts his protege - the jhamoora, with questions. The protege responds and does some acts which together provide entertainment to the collected audience. But Sarju also used this as a ruse to pick the pockets of the members of the audience.

When Fatso protests-

"kamaal hai ustaad , do chhataank aadmi ke liye 1 re 81 paise aur mere liye bhee'

Sarju says ' kam khaayaa kar' and follows that up with

"baap kee kamaai nahee paap kee kamaaii hai sab ko baraabar kaa hissa milegaa"

"बाप की कमाई नहीं पाप की कमाई है, सब को बराबर का हिस्सा मिलेगा"

dekhaa bhii naheeN ke gaay hai ya bail aur loTaa leke duhne baiTh gayaa

Film : Jaagte Raho
Year of release : 1956
Spoken by : Shashaank Bhaiyya (Anon)
Spoken to : Chandu (Iftekhar)

Jaagte Raho is one of the better films of Raj Kapoor. Of course, he tries to irritate the hell out of me like always, but somehow holds my attention. It is the simple story of a village simpleton who comes to the city and is thirsty and looks for water. He is thought by a policeman to be a thief and is chased into a housing compound and there he hides in one house after the other and keeps looking for water. He does not find any water, but he does find the level of debasement and corruption in the lives of these 'bourgeouise'.

crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai

Film : Phoonk

Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Manja (Zakir Husain)

Spoken to : Rajiv (Sudeep)

Kannada star Sudeep stars in this Ramgopal Varma film which dared anyone in the audience to watch the film alone in a theatre. I thought the film was not scare at all. But I will grant you this, I have a strong heart. I will also grant you that the performance by some actors was very credible.

Quickly, this is the story of an atheist who is forced to believe. As the story approaches its climax, the tantric Manja asks Rajiv, if he is an atheist.

Rajiv replies in the affirmative. Manja asks him the reason. Rajiv says he doesn't know, and follows up with a rhetorical question - What is God?

Manja looks at him and asks him if he pops a Crocin when he is suffering from fever. Rajiv says yes. Manja asks him how does he know what is Crocin and that it will cure him. Doesn't he just 'believe' in the doctor when he asks him to pop a Crocin. And then the punchline

"Crocin ko maanne meN aur bhagwaan ko maanne meN kyaa farq hai"

"क्रोसिन को मानने में और भागवान को मानने में क्या फर्क़ है?"

kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Seth Dharam Dayal Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Patil (Sapru)

Vijay i.e. Amitabh's father Ranjit is a felon who wants to mend his ways. After being released from jail (read this entry), Ranjit goes to his employers (DD and Patil) and says he will no longer do this work and wants to go straight. DD tells Patil that he is wondering how many years jail they will get if Ranjit were to go to the police and turn an approver. An angry Patil says Ranjit has gone mad. DD aka Ajit comes up with his Ajitism.

"kuttaa jab paagal ho jaataa hai to use golee maar dete haiN"

"कुत्ता जब पागल हो जाता है तो उसे गोली मार देते हैं"

kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye

Film : Kuchche Dhaage
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Roopa (Kabir Bedi)
Spoken to : Laakhan (Vinod Khanna)

This was another of those dacoit films of the 70s. Must have been a very angry country at that time. But what I found interesting was the spelling of the film. The film was spelt on its print and posters as 'Kuchhe Dhaage' which I would read as 'Threads of Underwear' in this form (कच्छे धागे) as against the actual meaning of 'Weak Threads'.

Anyways the film has two dacoit gangs - one a Brahmin gang and the other was a Rajput gang. The chieftains of both gangs viz., Roopa and Laakhan come together in the climax to ensure the wedding of their beloved.

When both of them are fighting together against the police and enjoying a banter about their horses. They both had stolen each others horses. Laakhan asks Roopa, if he rides his white horse. Roopa says
"kabhi kabhi"
Laakhan asks
"kabhi kabhi kyon?"

Roopa comes up with an interesting answer
"kyonki chori ki yaari aur chori ki savaari kabhee kabhee karnee chaahiye"
"क्योंकि चोरी कि यारी और चोरी की सवारी कभी कभी करनी चाहिये"

I quite like this wonderful rules that brigands and dacoits come up with.

But do you know that a movie which has Vinod Khanna and Kabir Bedi running after Moushmi Chatterjee, who does she go and marry. Some guy called Ritesh.

sar salaamat to pagDee pachaas

Film : C Kkompany

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Ramakant Joshi (Anupam Kher)

Spoken to : Purushottam (Nikhil Ratnaparkhi)

A group of three neighbours come together as C Kkompany to play out their wildest power dreams. Lambodar Jha (Rajpal Yadav) calls up as a don from C Kkompany and threatens Purushottam (who is a builder) with dire consequences if he refuses to pay up. Ramakant and Akshay Kumar (Tusshar Kapoor) try and convince Purushottam to agree to the don's demands. Akshay says that one should not take such threats lightly. Ramakant follows that up with a classic line

"सर सलामत तो पगड़ी पचास"

There is a famous saying in Hindi - 'jaan hai to jahaan hai". This line also captures the same thought in a slightly fresher way.

kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

Film : Sholay

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Jay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Veeru (Dharmendra)

Veeru and Basanti (Hema Malini) are now a proper romantic couple. Veeru wants Jay to go to Basanti's mausee (aunt) and ask for Basanti's hand. Jay is very skeptical of Veeru's 'love' and his desire to 'marry'. See how the scene opens.

Veeru : Jay...

Jay : hmmm...

Veeru : aaj maine kuchh sochaa hai...

Jay : hmm...kabhii kabhii ye kaam bhee karnaa chaahiye

The sardonic Jay is heaping scorn on Veeru and his ability to think. I do loads of this 'kaam' and wish more people in this world would do so too. :)

As Jay says,

हम्म... कभी कभी ये काम भी करना चाहिये

gaaranTee? MaiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?

Film : A Wednesday
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Common Man (Naseeruddin Shah)
Spoken to : Prakash Rathod (Anupam Kher)

Naseer has asked for the four terrorists to be transported to an unused runway near Juhu Airbase. He has laid out his requirements very very clearly. Prakash asks him that what is the guarantee that he would defuse all bombs once the requests are complied with.

A very very disdainful tone comes into the Common Man's voice when he says

"gaaranTee? maiN aapko paNkhaa bech rahaa hooN?"

"गारंटी? मैं आपको पंखा बेच रहा हूं?"

kuchh aadmiyoN kee kamzoree iimaandaaree hotii hai

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : DD Teja (Ajit)

Spoken to : Mona (Bindu)

When Mona cribs to Teja that Inspector Vijay Khanna does not accept any bribes, Dharam Dayal Teja says
"Mona jis tarah kuchh aadmiyoN kii kamzoree beimaanee hotee hai usee tarah kuchh aadmiyon kee kamzoree imaandaaree hotee hai"

"मोना जिस तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी बेईमानी होती है, उसी तरह कुछ आदमियों की कमज़ोरी ईमानदारी होती है "

bolte English haiN karte desii haiN

Film : Oye Lucky Lucky Oye
Year of release : 2008
Spoken by : Bangaalii (Manu Rishi)
Spoken to : Lucky (Abhay Deol)

This hugely disappointing Dibakar Banerji follow up to one of the all time greats of Hindi and world cinema - Khosla ka Ghosla - has some interesting lines.

Lucky is a suave thief, who burgles houses but with a sangfroid that would put an aristocrat to shame. Bangaali is his aide in many such thefts. In one such scenes, he warns Lucky to beware of the educated classes. He feels that they are hypocrites who might sound cultured but have ignoble intentions underlying. As he himself puts it

'bolte English haiN karte desee haiN'

"बोलते इंग्लिश हैं करते देसी हैं "

mard aadmii khelte haiN baabu...dekhne vaaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?

Film : Ankur

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Swami - A villager (Unidentified)

Spoken to : Surya (Anant Nag)

On Diwali day, three men come to Surya's house. He invites them to drink and gamble. They invite him to gamble along with them. Surya refuses, he says

"Aisaa karo tum log khelo - maiN dekhooNgaa"

"ऐसा करो तुम लोग खेलो - मैं देखूंगा"

Swami (one of the gamblers) retorts with

"mard aadmii khelte haiN babu, dekhne waaloN ko kyaa kehte haiN maaloom?"

"मर्द आदमी खेलते हैं बाबू, देखने वालों को क्या कहते हैं मालूम ? "

A classic hark back to the Sanskrit quotation

"उद्योगम् पुरुष लक्षणम् "

he wants to watch.

Meraa beemaa sirf 1 laakh kaa hai aur aapkaa paanch laakh kaa

Film : Funtoosh

Year of release : 1956

Spoken by : Ram Lal Funtoosh (Dev Anand)

Spoken to : KaroRi Lal (K N Singh)

An old Dev Anand film talking about the dangers of taking too much insurance. 1 lac in 1956 (assuming a rate of 8% for the entire period) is roughly equal to 32 lacs in today's terms. 5 lacs is around 1.6 crores. I think one must think before buying too much insurance.

MukhDaa dekhoge to antraa bhool jaaoge

Film : Ab Kya Hoga

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Rajesh (Asrani)

Spoken to : Ram (Shatrughan Sinha)

This was a very silly mystery film made by Sawan Kumar Tak. Ram reaches Rajesh's wedding quite late. While Rajesh is taking him to task for having come late, Ram says

"chal zaraa pehle bhaabhi kaa mukhDa dekh aate haiN"

Rajesh says,

"mukhDaa dekhoge to antaraa bhool jaaoge. laakhoN meN ek hai - nazar mat lagaa denaa"

"मुखड़ा देखोगे तो अंतरा भूल जाओगे. लाखों में एक है - नज़र मत लगा देना"

soorat se dil kaa pata naheeN chaltaa

Film : Prem Patra
Year of release : 1962
Spoken by : Dr Arun Kumar (Shashi Kapoor)
Spoken to : Arun's aunt

Dr Arun's aunt is eager to fix his marriage with the local landowner's daughter. This would help him to get the requisite money to fund his higher studies abroad. Dr Arun has been heartbroken because of his scholarship having been cancelled for a flimsy reason. So he has kind of resigned himself to his fate. His aunt is trying to emotionally blackmail him and says,

"chaaho to kal laRkee dekh aao "

"चाहो तो कल लड़की देख आओ"

"dekhne se kyaa hotaa hai. soorat se dil kaa pataa naheeN chaltaa. jab wo aapko pasand hai - to bas Theek hai"

"देखने से क्या होता है. सूरत से दिल का पता नहीं चलता, जब वो आपको पसन्द है - तो बस ठीक है"

In English there is a saying - face is the index of the mind. Here is a version trying to negate that saying. It is interesting that you can often find good lines contradicting the inherent wisdom in each other. Sometimes even in the same language.

Sher Khan ne shaadii nahii kee to kyaa huaa, lekin baaraateN bahut dekhee haiN

Film : Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)
Spoken to : Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Sher Khan comes to Vijay's house to give him a heads up about the offer that he has got. Two people have approached him with an offer to bump off Vijay Khanna. When Sher Khan walks in, Vijay is sitting with Mala. Vijay introduces Sher Khan to Mala;

"Mala ye Sher Khan hai. Mere bahut acchhe dost. Samjhee?
"माला ये शेर ख़ान है. मेरे बहुत अच्छे दोस्त. समझी?"

Sher Khan says,

"Yeh hamaare baare meN kuchh samjhe ya na samjhe, lekin ham inke baare meN samajh gayaa"
"ये हमारे बारे में कुछ समझे या न समझे, लेकिन हम इनके बारे में समझ गया"

"kyaa samajh gaye Sher Khan?"

"dekho biraadar. Sher Khan ne shaadii nahee kee to kyaa huaa, lekin baaraateN bahut dekheeN haiN"
"देखो बिरादर. शेर ख़ान ने शादी नहीं की तो क्या हुआ, लेकिन बारातें बहुत देखीं हैं"

chale to aRhaaii chaal nahee to chale hee naheeN

Film : Prem Patra
Year of release : 1962
Spoken by : Kavita's mother
Spoken to : Kavita (Sadhna)

This is a decent Bimal Roy film (not one of his best) with a very complicated story.

"Maa meraa iraadaa hai, maiN aaj raat hee ki gaaDee se Darjeeling chalee jaaooN"
"माँ मेरा इरादा है, मैं आज रात ही की गाड़ी से डार्जीलिंग चली जाऊं"

"Aaj kaise. parson to tere paas hone kee party jo hai?"
"आज कैसे? परसों तो तेरे पास होने की पार्टी जो है?"

"naheeN maa party rehne do. maiN aaj hee jaanaa chaahtee hooN"
"नहीं माँ पार्टी रहने दो. मैं आज ही जाना चाहती हूं"

"Ajeeb laRkee hai, chale to aRhaaii chaal, naheeN to chale hee naheeN"
"अजीब लड़की है, चले तो अढ़ाई चाल, नहीं तो चले ही नहीं"

WahaaN jaake phir angrezii bolnee paDegee

Film: Singh is Kinng

Year of release : 2008

Spoken by : Rangeelaa (Om Puri)

Spoken to : Himself

Akshay Kumar has perfected the art of making you laugh in films with inane stories. If you ask me, he is a bigger Baadshah than SRK. Anyways, in this particular sequence, Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar) and Rangeela have landed in Sydney airport and their luggage seems to have been misplaced by the airlines. Rangeela has come with Happy as the village English 'expert'. That his English would not be understood by most native English speakers is another matter altogether. Rangeela goes to the booking counter to complain in loud and clear terms about his luggage. The man at the counter is trying his best to explain that he cannot help him and that Rangeela would have to go to the luggage counter. But Rangeela is the English 'expert' and cannot understand a word. An Indian traveller who is also waiting beside Rangeela intervenes and explains to Rangeela that he would have to go to the luggage counter.

An exasperated Rangeela says

'वहाँ जाके फिर अंग्रेज़ी बोलनी पडेगी"

When I saw this scene, I broke out laughing and could not stop for close to a minute. Om Puri has managed to give credibility to this dialogue with his acting prowess.

kaho to phir andar bhijvaa deN

Film: Zanjeer
Year of release : 1973
Spoken by : Teja (Ajit)
Spoken to : Vijay (Amitabh Bachchan)

Vijay has been jailed on a trumped up charge of bribery. The main man behind setting him up was Teja. When Vijay is released he is eager for revenge. He goes straight to a phone booth and he calls Teja. Here is the conversation. Reproducing it verbatim as it is a very famous line.

"Teja maiN vijay bol rahaa hooN"

"तेजा मैं विजय बोल रहा हूं"

"Oh hello inspector"

"ओह हलो इंस्पॅक्टर"

"maiN baahar aa gayaa hooN"

"मैं बाहर आ गया हूं"

"kaho to phir andar bhijvaa deN"

"कहो तो फिर अन्दर भिजवा दें"

What sets Ajit's Teja apart from other villains of that time is that he never went over the top. He is very cool and maintains what I would call his 'sangfroid' at all times. Superb.

taaj un saroN pe naheeN rehtaa jinke qareeb Khauf aa jaaye

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Bahaar (Nigar Sultana)

Spoken to : A maid in the palace

Bahaar, is one of the senior maids in the palace. She nurses a secret ambition of becoming the princess. One day she is trying on the crown and she is spotted by another maid. The other maid says

"taaj doosroN ke haath pehne jaate haiN bahaar"

"ताज दूसरों के हाथ पहने जाते हैं बहार"

Bahaar retorts with

"haath doosroN ke hote haiN par himmat apnee hotee hai"

"हाथ दूसरों के होते हैं पर हिम्मत अपनी होती है"

The maid says

"koee aa na jaaye bahaar, kyaa tumhe Khauf naheeN?"

"कोई आ न जाये बहार, क्या तुम्हें ख़ौफ़ नहीं?"

Bahaar says

"Khauf? taaj un saroN pe naheeN rehtaa jinke qareeb Khauf aa jaaye"

"ख़ौफ़? ताज उन सरों पे नहीं रहता जिनके क़रीब ख़ौफ आ जाये"

That is so true. Even today, to be a leader in any field, courage continues to be one of the competencies required.

Jab tak zindaa hooN tab tak maraa naheeN, jab mar gayaa saalaa maiN hee naheeN

Film: Anand
Year of release : 1971
Spoken by : Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna)
Spoken to : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)


Jab tak zindaa hooN tab tak maraa naheeN, jab mar gayaa saalaa maiN hee naheeN

Main der se marne waaloN meN hooN

Film : DaaG

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Diwan (Manmohan Krishna)

Spoken to : Sunil (Rajesh Khanna)

I love this line. It is an oblique reference to a rich man. Diwan is a heart patient who has an attack while travelling on a train with his daughter Chandni (Raakhi). Sunil helps them during the journey and Diwan is very grateful. He tells Sunil about Chandni's troubles - she has been cheated by a man and is now pregnant and unmarried. After helping them off the train, Sunil tries to console him and says

"aap achchhe ho jaayenge aapkaa ilaaj ho rahaa hai"

"आप अच्छे हो जायेंगे आपका इलाज हो रहा है"

Diwan says,

"Ilaaj vagairah sab bahaanaa hai, tareeqaa hai rupayaa kharch karne kaa. Jinke paas hotaa hai vo der se marte haiN aur jinke paas naheeN hotaa vo jaldii mar jaate haiN. MaiN der se marne waaloN meN hooN"

"इलाज वगैरह सब बहाना है, तरीक़ा है रुपया खर्च करने का. जिनके पास होता है वो देर से मरते हैं और जिनके पास नहीं होता वो जल्दी मर जाते हैं. मैं देर से मरने वालों में हूं."

Sometimes when I see our allopathic medicine system and the costs associated with even small things, I am reminded of this line. But I can safely say one thing. I am not rich.

मैं देर से मरने वालों में नहीं हूं.

"

Beewii ho... to har masalaa TeRhaa hotaa hai

Film: Shatranj ke Khilari

Year of release : 1977

Spoken by : Mirza Sajjad Ali (Sanjeev Kumar)

Spoken to : Meer Roshan Ali (Saeed Jaffrey)

Khurshid (Shabana Azmi), Mirza's wife, is constantly angry at Mirza's long hours spent on playing chess. She is very demonstrative of her displeasure. On one such occasion when her feathers have been ruffled, the Mirza goes in to soothe her. When he comes back, Mir asks him if he managed to soothe his wife and remarks

"baRa TeRha masalaa hai"

"बड़ा टेढ़ा मसला है"

Mirza heaves a long sigh and says

"beewii ho meer saahab, to har masalaa, TeRhaa hotaa hai"

"बीवी हो मीर साहब, तो हर मसला टेढ़ा होता है"

I am sure many of the married men would agree with this.

Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai

Film : Baap Numberi Beta Dus Numberi
Year of release : 1990
Spoken by : Raman (Kader Khan)
Spoken to : Prasad (his son played by Shakti Kapoor)

This line is often used by me while referring to the financial markets and its constituents. I will come to that in a moment. Now both father and son are in a constant game of oneupmanship in this movie. Prasad goes and fraudulently collects gold from Raman's locker. In the meantime, Raman cleans out the balance in Prasad's account fraudulently. He calls up Prasad to tell him this and also tells him that the gold that Prasad has taken is fake. So the father is reiterating to the son that even if the son grows up he will not really match up to the father. He puts it beautifully

"Haathii agar baiTh bhee jaaye to gadhe se oonchaa hotaa hai"
"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Now let me tell you my financial markets analogy. There are two common financial assets that people invest in - debt and equity. Now if you invest in debt, the growth is more steady, whereas in equity the journey is more volatile. But even if equity tanks very badly, over a 10 year term it would still end up giving more returns than debt. This has been my experience in the Indian markets over the last 20 years. Hence, if someone asks me the question equity or debt, I say this

"हाथी अगर बैठ भी जाये तो गधे से ऊंचा होता "

Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN

Film : Zanjeer

Year of release : 1973

Spoken by : Sher Khan (Pran)

Spoken to : Vijay 'Khan' (Amitabh Bachchan)

Teja asks his men to find out someone who has had a skirmish with Vijay in the past and pay him money to bump Vijay off. His men go and visit Sher Khan as he has had a very public fight with Vijay. What they do not know is that both Vijay and Sher Khan have now kissed and made up. Sher Khan refuses the offer given by Teja's men. He then goes to warn Vijay about the offer he has received. Vijay laughs it off. Sher Khan says, that though Vijay might be a brave man, but a pack of wild dogs can finish off a lion. Must have been a very powerful dialogue in the pre-Discovery and Animal Planet days. Now even little kids know this and hence the dialogue sort of loses its potence. But here goes nonetheless,

"Baarah janglee kutte milke sher ko maar Daalte haiN"

"बारह जंगली कुत्ते मिलकर शेर को मार डालते हैं"

kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap

Film : Pakeezah

Year of release : 1972

Spoken by : Saahib Jaan (Meena Kumari)

Spoken to : Salim (Raaj Kumar)

Saahib Jan is a nautch girl. Forest Officer Salim falls in love with her after he meets her in that famous romantic train sequence. He is taking her back to the city with the intention of marrying her. One of her patrons, Hashim Khan, recognises her and starts following her. Salim asks Sahib Jan who he is. She responds with the classic

"kis kis kaa naam poochhenge aap?"

"किस किस का नाम पूछेंगे आप?"

poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai

Film : Satya

Year of release : 1998

Spoken by : Satya (Chakravarthi)

Spoken to : Bhau Thakurdas Jhawle (Govind Namdeo)

Bhiku Mhatre (Manoj Bajpai) decides to kill Gurunarayan (Raju Mavani) upon the advice of Satya. Bhiku's mentor Bhau loses his cool when he comes to know of it and pounces on Bhiku saying he should have asked him first

"poochhne kaa naa mere ko" he says in a condescending manner.

Bhiku is at a loss to respond. Satya comes to his aid with

"poochhne ke liye zindaa rehnaa zaroorii hotaa hai"

"पूछने के लिये ज़िन्दा रहना ज़रूरी होता है"

So if your boss questions any decision of yours which has been taken in a crisis and says you should have checked with him/her first, you can use this line.

Mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam

Year of release : 1960

Spoken by : Prince Salim (Dilip Kumar)

Spoken to : Anarkali (Madhubala)

You would have guessed from the line which film this line belonged to. Anarkali and Salim are in an amorous mood (or as our journalists call it - 'compromising position'), when Akbar the Great walks in. Anarkali is scared and makes a gesture to run away. Salim stops her and asks her not to be afraid. Because he believes, fearful love is manifestation of dishonourable intent. As he puts it

"mohabbat jo Dartee hai vo mohabbat naheeN, ayyaashee hai, gunaah hai"

"मोहब्बत जो डरती है वो मोहब्बत नहीं, अय्याशी है, गुनाह है"

Though that means that all that I have done in my life is 'gunaah'. PDA or public display of affection is such an unacceptable thing in India, that you have to be fearful.

"तो क्या मैं गुनाहगार हूं?"

Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete

Film : Dus Numbri

Year of release : 1976

Spoken by : Inspector Jaichand (Premnath)

Spoken to : Arjun aka Dus Numbri (Manoj Kumar)

Manoj Kumar has sued Farah and Shahrukh for misrepresenting him in OSO. If you want to see how sickening and stupid he looked, see this film. Crap film with some very good songs. But when a film is so bad you want to stick till the end a la Return of the Jewel Thief. And I think he should have paid Farah money for the service that she has done to him. Par woh kahaanii phir kabhee.

Arjun is a 'bad character' and Inspector Jaichand is a crooked police officer. In one exchange between the two, Arjun asks Jaichand for a 50% cut in the fake currency racket. Jaichand is angry that a petty crook considers himself worthy of equal profits. He says,

"Sher aur bakree donoN ek hee ghaaT se paanee naheeN peete"

"शेर और बकरी दोनों एक ही घाट से पानी नहीं पीते"

Premnath makes his debut on this blog.