BaDe log badtameezee bhee karte haiN to baDee

Film : Main Tulsi tere Aangan Ki
Year of release : 1978
Spoken by : Thakur Ajmer Singh (Goga Kapoor)
Spoken to : Ajay Chauhan (Vinod Khanna)

During a polo match, Naini (Neeta Mehta) also comes to join Ajay and Pratap (Deb Mukherjee)'s team. Thakur Ajmer Singh (the opponents' captain Goga Kapoor) suggests that Naini is being included to distract them. He says

"कभी हम इनकी ख़ूबसूरत आंखों को देखेंगे, कभी हम इनकी पतली कमर को देखेंगे, कभी..."
"kabhii hum inkee khoobsoorat aankhoN ko dekhenge
kabhee hum inkee patlee kamar ko dekhenge, kabhee... "
"Ajmer singh, shut up", says Naini. If she had not interjected (on behalf of the censors methinks), Ajmer would have made some uncivil references about some body parts of Naini.
Ajay says they didn't need distractions to beat Ajmer. But he says he was surprised such a "puraane thakur vansh kaa sapoot ek laDkee se itnee baDee badtameezee kar rahaa hai".

Ajmer comes up with a line that could be best described as 'noblesse oblige' in reverse.

"BaDe log badtameezee bhee karte haiN to baDee"

"बड़े लोग बद्तमीज़ी भी करते हैं तो बड़ी"

There was a time when you would expect eminent people to be role models. These days if at all they are role models - then it is for the wrong things.

So if you belong to the tribe called 'baDe log' and are wont to committing 'badtameezee', justify your acts with this classic,

बड़े लोग बद्तमीज़ी भी करते हैं तो बड़ी

My first century - and a dedication

Eight months ago, a chance comment from a friend of mine prompted me to start this blog.

My first post

Little did I know that within such a short time, I would have such a regular readership. While looking at the list of posts, I realised that this would be the 100th post. Special circumstances deserve special solutions. So the 100th post has been written by a guest contributor. Who better than the man himself. Hitherto I had not named him, but now I shall name him and fame him (or shame him depending on whether you like the blog or not). Over to you Pramod

*************************************************************************************

I have been quite lucky when it comes to friends. They have always been kind and generous, both in terms of time and money. I have always been flooded with gifts and copious amounts of advice from my friends. The former I gladly accept, the latter I routinely reject politely.
A very dear friend of mine would take me to a shop and ask me to select dresses for him and on the way out would hand me a packet, saying he bought some for me too.
It was as if "My wish was their command". I happily accept goodies and gifts from my friends without reciprocating. My wife, who is also my well-wisher, absolutely abhors this habit of mine. She chides me no end when I come back and announce to her my latest possession.
I am reminded of the dialogue in Seeta Aur Geeta when Ravi (Sanjeev Kumar) introduces Geeta (Hema Malini) to his mother (Ratnamala) and she tells Ravi how beautiful Geeta is looking. Hema responds with this line

"MaiN maange huye kapdoN meiN hamesha achchhee lagtee hooN"

"मैं मांगे हुये कपड़ों में हमेशा अच्छी लगती हूं"

A slight distortion of what I tell my wife at such times. Whenever we get something free of cost, we seem to enjoy it more than if we had actually paid for it. Ghaalib also conveys this thought beautifully with his line

"muft haath aaye to maal achchhaa hai"

"मुफ़्त हाथ आये तो माल अच्छा है"

Not very true for some of my very conscientious friends though. But if you agree with me, and ever land in a similar situation, use this line.

Tumhe bhee bolnaa paDegaa bolne ke liye

Film : Anand

Year of release : 1970

Spoken by : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : Anand Sehgal (Rajesh Khanna)

Another classic from Anand. The famous recording scene, which has the Sony tape recorder and the mike. Bhaskar has been requested by Anand to record his famous poem

"मौत तू एक कविता है, मुझसे एक कविता का वादा है मिलेगी मुझको"

And once he has done it, he asks Anand too to record something. Anand stands wondering what he should say. He says this aloud. A laconic Bhaskar says

"तुम्हे भी बोलना पड़ेगा बोलने के लिये"

"tumhe bhee bolnaa paDegaa bolne ke liye"

A great line to use with the normally garrulous when they are tongue-tied.

AankhoN dekhee makkhee niglee naheeN jaatee

Film : Lajja

Year of release : 2001

Spoken by : Hazaarilal (Govind Namdeo)

Spoken to : Nek Chand (Anjan Srivastav)

Lajja was actually a good film, which did not get its rightful due. All the female characters had names of Sita. Mythili (Mahima Chowdhury) is getting married. Her father-in-law is keen on ensuring the dowry is delivered as agreed. However, Nekchand (Mythili's father) is falling short by Rs 50000. A thief Raju (Anil Kapoor) who is hiding in Mythili's bedchamber overhears her plight and decides to help her. He goes and quietly adds Rs 50000 to the briefcase which is supposed to carry the dowry amount. Nekchand does not know this. When the money is handed over Hazaarilal, Nekchand is apprehensive that he would throw a fit due to the short amount. However, Hazarilal discovers that the amount is exactly as agreed. But one of the guests (who has been robbed by Raju) sees the money and recognises it as his own. This leads to discovery of the fact that Raju had been hiding in Mythili's bedchamber. All hell breaks loose. Hazaarilal wants to fish in troubled waters. Hence he demands more money to accept a 'tainted' Mythili as his daughter-in-law. As he puts it,

"aankhoN dekhee makkhee niglee naheeN jaatee"

"आंखों देखी मक्खी निगली नहीं जाती"

Of course, this is a famous Hindi proverb. But I have heard it for the first time in a Hindi movie in Lajja. And I quite like the way Govind Namdeo says it. It is one of Hindi cinema's better scenes. Do see this scene if you get a chance.

Of course, the line means that it is hard to accept something bad after you know about it. For example most of the restaurants in Delhi have dirty kitchens. But as long as you sit in air-conditioned comfort and don't see the kitchens you love the food. But if you happen to pass by the kitchen and realise how dirty it is, it is extremely hard to eat in that restaurant. As the saying goes

"आंखों देखी मक्खी निगली नहीं जाती"

Bachche tum jis school meN paDhte ho hum uske headmaster rah chuke haiN

Film : Haath ki Safai

Year of release : 1974

Spoken by : Shankar (Vinod Khanna)

Spoken to : Raju (Randhir Kapoor)

One of the lesser known Salim-Javed films. Not as illustrious as some of their other output, but it too has its moments.

Raju or Raju Tardeo is a pick pocket. As he is relaxing in his area, one of his acolytes comes and informs him that there is a man in the neighbourhood who has 100 Rs notes in his wallet. All of them are very excited. I remember my dad used to get a monthly salary of Rs 100 those days, but to a youngster today, this might be a cause of great surprise. Inflation my dear friends!

Anyways, our hero is lured towards his target and as he attempts to pick Shankar's pocket, Shankar is quick to catch Raju's hand in the act. He chides him with a classic 'don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs' kind of line (the best I have heard in Hindi cinema). He says

"बच्चे तुम जिस स्कूल में पढ़ते हो हम उसके हॆड़मास्टर रह चुके हैं"
"bachche tum jis school me paDhte ho ham uske headmaster rah chuke haiN"

And he follows up by delivering the title of the film in the next line. He says

"aur is purse meN rupayoN se bhee zyaadaa ek keemtee cheez hai jise churaanaa aasaan naheeN, jaao apne haath meN aur safaai paidaa karo. jaao"

"और इस पर्स में रुपयों से भी ज़्यादा एक क़ीमती चीज़ है जिसे चुराना आसान नहीं, जाओ अपने हाथ में और सफ़ाई पैदा करो. जाओ"

Of course, the 'qeematee cheez' that Shankar is referring to is the photograph of his younger brother. And his younger brother is none other than Raju Tardeo. But then if he knew that then, 12 reels of the film would have been wasted. Or saved. Depending on where you stand about the film.

Vinod Khanna makes his debut on this blog. I often used to wonder that Vinod Khanna also was a good actor, was a six footer, was good looking, well built and yet people never gave him the status that Amitabh got. I just saw the statistics of this blog and found that till date there are 11 lines of Amitabh and Vinod just made his debut. I think I know the answer now.

Maine to kulhaaDee pe pair maaraa hai

Film : Golmaal
Year of release : 1979
Spoken by : Ramprasad Sharma (Amol Palekar)
Spoken to : Ratna (Manju Singh)

There is a saying in Hindi

खरबूज़ा छुरी पर गिरे या छुरी खरबूज़े पर

which means that whether the musk melon falls on the knife or the knife falls on the musk melon, the end result is one and the same. The knife is not harmed while the melon is cut open.

In this film, Ramprasad says

"लोग तो पैरों पर कुल्हाड़ी मारते हैं, मैने तो कुल्हाड़ी पर पैर मारा है"
"Log to pairon pe kulhaadi maarte hain main to kulhaaDi par pair maaraa hai"

At first glance, there seems to be no difference. But Ramprasad is referring to his act of having proffered to teach his boss's daughter as an act of Himalayan stupidity. Hence 'kulhaaDee par pair maaraa hai'. Because if you have to go and bang your legs against an axe, physically you will have to align your legs in a particular manner and hence it would be more difficult than hitting your legs with an axe.

Aaj kee raat tumhe vidya kee zaroorat nahee maayaa ki zaroorat hai

Film : Shree 420

Year of release : 1955

Spoken by : Seth Sonachand Dharmanand (Nemo)

Spoken to : Raj Kumar (Raj Kapoor)

This comes during Raj's interaction with Sonachand just before the MuD muD ke song. Vidya (which means knowledge) is Nargis' name in this film. Maya (which means illusion) is Nadira's name. Raj Kapoor had a fetish for this silly symbolism. You can see that in Sangam when the three people are reading Time, Life and Fortune. Here the symbolism is closer home. Maya has insulted Vidya at a party to which Raj had invited her. She runs out with Raj in hot pursuit. As Vidya goes out of the revolving door, Seth Sonachand comes in and sees Raj calling after Vidya. He pauses and says,

"आज की रात तुम्हे विद्या की ज़रूरत नहीं, माया की ज़रूरत है"

"Aaj kee raat tumhe vidya kee zaroorat naheeN, maya kee zaroorat hai"

which is a none-too-veiled reference to the fact that the party would involve a bit of gambling and in such a milieu, it is not knowledge but the illusive and elusive 'maayaa' that would be required.

Four decades of post-independence education in India were devoted to rote learning and 'collecting' knowledge for the heck of it. Vocational education or training was looked down upon. Though this trend is changing of late. Though there are still heavy school bags and school teachers focussing on learning by rote, the entire education system is slowly realising the fact that

'tumhe vidya kee zaroorat nahee maayaa kee zaroorat hai'

Chapraasee ke kaan oopar ke baraasee aur neeche ke teraasee

Film : Bunty aur Babli
Year of release : 2005
Spoken by : Dashrath Singh (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Phoolwati (Pratima Kazmi)

This is a line that I do not understand, but am still posting it with the message

अगर इसे समझ सको मुझे भी समझाओ

Then why am I posting it here. Because I liked the line for its unique sound.

The situation is that Dashrath Singh is called into investigate the "sale" of Taj Mahal, which by the way is Amar Singh's dig at Mayawati. The chief minister of Uttar Pradesh is called Phoolsakhee which sounds suspiciously close to Mayawati. In fact, Pratima Kazmi even looks like Mayawati in this movie.

Back at the ranch, Dashrath Singh immediately zeroes in onto the fact that this could not have been done without internal collusion. He further zeroes in onto the peon or चपड़ासी as it is called in Hindi. His logic is

"chapraasee ke kaan oopar ke baraasee aur neeche ke teraasee"

"चपड़ासी के कान ऊपर के बरासी और नीचे के तेरासी"

I think he means that a peon is most clued onto the various goings-on in an organisation. I remember the comment made by one of my bosses. He used to say that an organisational rots either at the head or at the bottom. A peon is privy to so much information at times. I would also put cab drivers in the same league. In my previous organisation, the cab driver used to listen very intently to what everyone was saying and within six months, he knew more about the company strategy than the CEO himself.

Though you cannot use it anywhere, and I do not really know what this means, but what the heck. Here it is. Do put in a comment if you know what it means.

Shaadii karne se to khaanaa achchhaa hai

Film : Anand
Year of release : 1971
Spoken by : Dr Bhaskar (Amitabh Bachchan)
Spoken to : Raghu Kaka

This is one of my personal favourites for entirely personal reasons. :)

Raghu Kaka (I dont know who is the character who plays this role, so if someone knows the answer please do tell me, because he did a damn good job and he deserves to be named and 'famed') is the man friday in Bhaskar's household. But many times he serves the dinner on the dining table, only to find that Bhaskar hasn't touched it. Bhaskar of course is busy reading some medical journal or some case papers. On one such occasion, Raghu Kaka's concern turns to frustration.

He tells Bhaskar to get married. He reasons that, then he could retire and go to his village and absolve himself of the crime of not feeding Bhaskar properly.

"तुझे अपने हाथों से पाला है ना, तुझे इस हाल में देख भी नहीं सकता और छोड़ भी नहीं सकता"

The angst in his voice hits home and a sardonic Bhaskar agrees to have dinner immediately, because

"shaadee karne se to khaanaa achchhaa hai"

"शादी करने से तो खाना अच्छा है"

Every time I see Anand, this line makes me smile. Next time you see this movie, pay attention to this line. I am sure it will make you smile.

Form bharnaa zarooree hai kyaa

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Murli prasad Sharma (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Dr J Dot Asthana (Baman Irani)


The occasion is the initial welcome lecture for all 1st year MBBS students. The dean, J dot Asthana finishes the speech, wishes everyone luck and asks the customary - "any questions" question. A hand goes up and says

"Yes sir. Yes. Wo baahar casualty me koii marne kee haalat me rahaa to usko form bharnaa zaroori hai kyaa"

"यॅस सर. यॅस. वो बाहर कॅशुयल्टी में कोई मरनी की हालत मे रहा तो उसको फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या"

A shocked dean is stunned to find the hand and the subsequent question belongs to none other than his bete noire Munna. He is too stunned to respond. He merely addresses the entire group and says,

"Tumhaaree classes kal subah aath baje shuru hogee. Thank you very much."

"तुम्हारी क्लासिज़ कल सुबह आठ बजे शुरु होंगी. थॅंक यू वॅरी मच"

The bureaucratic 'form' culture is so prevalent everywhere. If you want to use the documents available on a website, they will ask you to log in with a form. You want to add your name to the electoral roll, there is a form. Great. Now if the clerks mess it up and mangle your name, you need to fill another form to change the name on the card. It really becomes irritating at times. Even in private sector organisations (which are supposed to be dynamic), there are elaborate forms for getting two whiteboard markers from the stationery chest.

So next time you are part of some admin or ops shop, asks yourself this question before devising a form -

"ये फ़ॉर्म भरना ज़रूरी है क्या?"

Yeh kaneez Jalaaluddin Mohammad Akbar ko apnaa Khoon maaf kartee hai

Film : Mughal-e-Aazam
Year of release : 1960
Spoken by : Anarkali (Madhubala)
Spoken to : Akbar (Prithviraj Kapoor)

ये कनीज़ जलालुद्दीन मुहम्मद अक्बर को अपना ख़ून माफ़ करती है

Mughal-e-Aazam is of course full of great lines. Most of them generally require a dictionary to unravel and decode. This is one of the simpler lines. But equally effective.

As the film is coming to an end, Akbar goes to meet Anarkali. He tells her that due to her, the son and father are at loggerheads. He makes it clear that he cannot allow her to live. Anaarkali resigns herself to her fate, but not without this parting shot. This line brings out the proud dignity in that character. Though I would shudder to think that a maid actually would have the courage to say this to an emperor. But then as they say, this is the stuff that legends are made on.

"ये कनीज़ जलालुद्दीन मोहम्मद अक्बर को अपना ख़ून माफ़ करती है"

Now where in the wide world can you use this line. Sure. One of my friends changes her job every six months. She is very good looking and somehow still manages to find a new job every six months. It could be because of her looks, could be because of her business contacts. But whenever she resigns she tells me

"MaiN Akbar ko apnaa khoon maaf kar aayee"

Though I think it is more appropriate to be used, if you are fired, not when you resign. But anyways, people use film lines the way they want to. It is not a violation of the Cinematography Act 1952. Whatever!

Bhagwaan kare golee chalaate waqt tere haath naa kaaNpe

Film : Deewar
Year of release : 1975
Spoken by : Sumitra Verma (Nirupa Roy)
Spoken to : Ravi Verma (Shashi Kapoor)

Making it a double bill for Deewar.

Indian films do have a fetish for the idealistic, fastidious mother character. The mother sticks to her ideals come what may. In this scene, Ravi is going after his brother Vijay. The mother realises that there might be a scenario where only one of them might come out alive. She does not do what Kunti did in Mahabharat. She does not go and beg the 'bad' son to spare the life of her 'good' son. Instead, she takes an unequivocal stand. She tells the 'good' son - go, go and do your duty. And I wish and hope that at the crunch moment your hand should not shake.

This is the pocket edition Nirupama Roy version of the Bhagavad Geeta.

Great line to use when someone in your team is going out for a sales call. Sales guys generally succeed by 'killing' the customer. And you would want to ensure

"भगवान करे गोली चलाते वक़्त तेरे हाथ ना कांपे"

Aaj Khush to bahut hoge tum

Film : Deewar

Year of release : 1975

Spoken by : Vijay Verma (Amitabh Bachchan)

Spoken to : God Shankar :)

आज ख़ुश तो बहुत होगे तुम. देखो जो आज तक तुम्हारे मन्दिर की सीढियां नहीं चढा, जिसने आज तक तुम्हारे सामने सर नहीं झुकाया...जिसने आज तक कभी तुम्हारे सामने हाथ नहीं जोड़े ...वो आज तुम्हारे सामने हाथ फैलाये खडा है

aaj ...khush to bahut hoge tum। Dekho... jo aaj tak tumhaare mandir kee seedhiyaaN naheeN chaDha ..jisne aaj tak tumhaare saamne sar naheeN jhukaayaa...jisne aaj tak kabhi tumhaare saamne haath nahee joDe ... woh... aaj tumhaare saamne haath phailaaye khaDaa hai।

bahut khush hoge tum...bahut khush hoge ki aaj maiN...yahaaN aayaa...lekin tum jaante ho ki jis waqt main yahaaN khaDaa hoon...woh aurat, jiske maathe se tumhaaree chaukhaT ka patthar ghis gayaa, wo aurat, jispar zulm baDhe, to uskee poojaa baDhee, wo aurat jo zindagi bhar jaltii rahee magar tumhaare mandir meN deep jalaatee rahee ...WOH AURAT...woh aurat aaj zindagi aur maut ki sarhad par khaDee hai.

बहुत ख़ुश होगे तुम...बहुत ख़ुश होगे कि आज मैं...यहां आया...लेकिन तुम जानते हो कि जिस वक़्त मैं यहां खड़ा हूं...वो औरत, जिसके माथे से तुम्हारी चौखट का पत्थर घिस गया, वो औरत, जिस पर ज़ुल्म बढ़े, तो उसकी पूजा बढ़ी, वो औरत जो ज़िन्दगी भर जलती रही मगर तुम्हारे मन्दिर में दीप जलाती रही...वो औरत...वो औरत आज ज़िन्दगी और मौत की सरहद पर खड़ी है.

kyaa qasoor hai uskaa, kaunsaa paap, kaunsa jurm kiyaa hai usne. kyaa uskaa jurm ye hai ki wo merii maa hai, kya uskaa jurm ye hai ki usne mujhe janam diyaa hai, kyaa uskaa jurm ye hai ki main usse pyaar kartaa hooN. ye...ye kis jurm kee sazaa dee jaa rahee hai use? merii maa, suhaagin hote huye vidhwaa banee rahee ...maine tumse kabhee kuchh naheeN maangaa

क्या क़सूर है उसका, कौनसा पाप, कौनसा जुर्म किया है उसने. क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि वो मेरी मां है, क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि उसने मुझे जनम दिया है, क्या उसका जुर्म ये है कि मैं उससे प्यार करता हूं. ये ...ये किस जुर्म की सज़ा दी जा रही है उसे? मेरी मां सुहागन होते हुये विधवा बनी रही...मैने तुमसे कभी कुछ नहीं मांगा.

This is a classic dialogue from the all time classic called Deewar. Vijay is an atheist in the film and even as a kid when his mother and brother Ravi go to the temple, he is shown sitting and waiting at the entrance. In one of the powerful cinematic moments of the film, when he realises his mother is not well, he swallows his pride and keeps his principles aside and steps inside the sanctum sanctorum. He pleads with God to cure his mother. He argues that even though he might have committed illegal acts, his mother should not be punished for it. But the piece de resistance is the opening line he uses with God, almost equating him to a potent adversary. He says

aaj khush to bahut hoge tum

Implying that God had created circumstances which have weakened him so much, that he has decided to genuflect before his old adversary. So whenever you face a situation where you are forced to do something by someone you dont like, use this line. Instantly hits home.

Saaree Khudaaii ek taraf beevee kaa bhaai ek taraf

Film: Tumhare Bina
Year of release: 1982
Spoken by: Mr Khanna (Shail Chaturvedi)
Spoken to: Seema Dutt (Swaroop Sampat)

Mr Khanna is Seema's boss and the manager in the bank they both work in. He has been invited with family to Seema's house for lunch and when he is introducing his brother in law Divakar (Anoop Kumar), he uses this famous proverb.

One of my friends used a variant of this. His boss had asked him to give regular work to one of his brothers who used to be in a related trade. The brother was slow on the uptake, and my friend used to say

सारी ख़ुदाई एक तरफ़ बॉस का भाई एक तरफ़

Aye chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

Film : Munnabhai MBBS
Year of release : 2003
Spoken by : Munna (Sanjay Dutt)
Spoken to : Chinky (Gracy Singh)

Munna is in love with his childhood friend Chinky. He does not know how she looks like, but believes that she is still in love with him. The Chinky is actually none other than Dr Suman, one of the doctors in his hospital. Dr Suman panics when she finds out that Munna is interested in 'Chinky'. She decides to introduce her friend Neha Dubey as Chinky. Now Neha Dubey is a tube-tops-and-hot-pants girl who drinks, smokes and dances at night clubs. After meeting her, Munna is shocked. Shell-shocked. Even the normally unflappable Circuit is shocked. So how does Munna convey his dismay. He tells Neha

Chinky tu bahut change ho gayelee hai re

चिंकी तू बहुत चेंज हो गयेली है रे

Later when the real Chinky is discussing the meeting with Dr Asthana, they have a good laugh about it, by repeating this line again and again - almost like a shibboleth.

So if you meet an old friend and are dismayed about any sort of perceived negative change, this is a great line to use.